This thing, I mean, jeeze.

Can you justify a nearly $2000 toilet?

As a matter of fact… you can.  Easily.

TOTO’s integrated toilet seat washlets are the pinnacle of poopin’.

They are an exercise in pure luxury.

The form-factor, features and technology coalesce  into an ultra-modern, eye-catching toilet that will become the centerpiece of any bathroom lucky enough to house one.

The G400 is one of TOTO’s “entry level” Integrated Toilets, but that doesn’t prevent it from being one of the best toilets ever made.

See what the TOTO G400’s current price is HERE.

Let’s dive into the features first and see what the G400 is packing under the hood.

So…. This is a toilet AND a bidet? What makes the toilet better than the trusty pooper trooper I’ve already got?

First, this is a TOTO toilet.

They make some of the best around and toilet technology has likely changed tremendously since you installed your last toilet.  Take a quick look at the video above to see what TOTO brings to the table.

First is the truly AWESOME Cyclone flush.

Have you ever wanted to feel like Poseidon (Pooseidon?)?

Have you ever had the desire to create a maelstrom of epic proportions, sucking sailors to the deep, dark depths below?

Now, you hold the power of the God of the Seas in your fingertips. With one gentle press on the sleek and sexy remotes (or simply by standing up – there’s an auto flush function!), you can choose and appropriate flush level for the business that you have just done. 1.28 or 0.9 gallons of water will come whooshing out from the recessed holes on either side of the toilet bowl, creating a hypnotizing vortex.

(It should be noted that the auto-flush function will determine how much water to use, either 1.28 gal or 0.9 gal.  It works quite well.)

Besides the trident brandishing euphoria that you’ll feel from creating a cyclone in your toilet, this cyclone also serves as an excellent bowl cleaner, sweeping any stubborn poo pirates down into the Marianas Trench of your toilet.

As the video above delightfully demonstrates with apples (floating poos), oranges (sinking poos), orange juice (pee) and applesauce (fiery diarrhea), all manner of toilet visits get effortlessly blasted into a watery grave.

TOTO also makes the bowl nearly impossible for anything to stick to.

Like the legendary WWE tag-team duo of Gary “Cyclone Psycho Flush” Stonewall and Johnny “Slippery Bowl” Prescott, the Cyclone flush operates best with its teammates: TOTO’s bowl-premist function and CeFiONtect, TOTO’s extremely slick ceramic glazing which serves to make the surface of the bowl much less porous, giving the poos nothing to hold onto.

Lastly, the design is sexy.

Yeah, I said it.  A toilet is sexy. Compared to a traditional toilet, it’s easy to see how someone could become infatuated with this amazing piece of  bathroom furniture.

The skirted toilet fits perfectly with the integrated washlet bidet.

Not only is the plumbing hidden within the “skirt” of the toilet, this approach to toilet design makes for much easier cleaning.

It’s got all your basic bidet functions.

As well as some lavish premium features.

This should be a given, but this toilet has everything one would expect from a great bidet seat.

This includes a heated seat, heated water and a self-cleaning, retracting nozzle that delivers a stream of water right up the ol’ wazoo.

There’s rear cleansing, rear “soft” cleansing and frontal cleanse.

The rear cleanse won’t be a surprise to anyone who has use a bidet before; it’s strong and effective, yet not a power washer and won’t leave your bum raw.

The soft rear cleanse covers a wider area with lower pressure – perfect for those cursed by hellish hemorrhoids.

The frontal cleanse is obviously just for ladies and uses larger, soft drops to keep things comfortable.

All cleaning functions can be combined with either an oscillating or pulsating spray option.

An easily replaceable deodorizer (available here) will whisk away all those foul odors commonly associated with going number 2.  Automatically turning on as soon as you plop you butt on the can, the deodorizer will soon become something you just can’t live without. It’s an activated carbon filter hidden behind a small air intake screen (which should be taken out and cleaned with water monthly).  The deodorizer itself should last around 6 months with average use.  And yes, you will definitely be made aware when it’s time to change it.

The auto raise/lower lid and seat add to the luxury.

Much like the TOTO S550 washlet, the G400 comes with a lid and seat that will automatically raise and lower when you draw near or walk away.

It’s hard to convey just how COOL this feature is.  It’s comparable to getting an OLED TV after years of traditional LED or LCD displays.

You just can’t go back.

And that’s kinda the lasting impression of this toilet as a whole. You just can’t go back to a regular one after using this.

The elegant design makes other toilets seem archaic, ancient and obsolete; more suited to a display in a preserved mid 18th century home in Colonial Williamsburg than in a modern bathroom.

The features (both bidet and the toilet itself)put other toilets to shame, and further solidify it as something you just can’t come back from.