Oh, Brondell. I’d sing an ode to your bidets if I weren’t a bidet disguised as a human who writes about bidets and therefore unable to sing.
Brondell has been in the competitive bathroom scene since 2003 and since then has become one of the most well-know bidet and toilet makers.
Let’s take a lil peek at their best bidets so far in 2020.
Brondell Swash 1400
See up to the minute pricing HERE.
Biscuit on the left, white on the right.
Brondell’s top of the line bidet still ranks as its best. With one of the most beautiful shapes and ominous yet wise looking sensor areas, the Brondell Swash 1400 is one of the best looking bidets around.
In fact, I love this bidet so much, they used to call me Big Swash Dude or BROdell back in high school.
The reasons I love the Swash 1400 bidet are two-fold.
First, and most obviously, are the features
The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.
There are all the features one could expect of a high-end bidet and even a few more.
For example, the Brondell Swash 1400 lets you control the width of the spray – meaning that you can choose from a concentrated, narrow spray to a wide, softer spray.
There is also a little dash of sci-fi in the nozzle. It is sterilized by silver nano-particles which literally rip bacteria and viruses apart. Intense. Metal.
The dryer is quite effective, as is the deodorizer – which, thank God, can be replaced easily, as needed.
Oh! And I almost forgot to mention the two programmable user settings.
The Swash 1400 certainly makes it pretty darn easy to clean yer ass.
The second reason the Swash 1400 bidet reigns supreme is its looks.
I’m a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.
While it isn’t doing anything necessarily mind-blowing/avant garde (nobody is asking for an avant garde bidet…yet), it checks all the right boxes as far as style goes.
Resembling other bidets in Brondell’s lineup, the Swash 1400 has sexy lines, and a hinge that frames the area which houses the guts that make this bidet tick.
The shape of the seat conforms nicely to most any batoot, and the hidden rear pocket stows away the unsightly power cables and water lines, leading to a sleek, minimal look.
Speaking of sleek and minimal, the Swash 1400 is thin, due mostly to its use of a ceramic core heating system which instantly heats water on-demand and forgoes the need for a large water reservoir system.
When push comes to shove, the Brondell Swash 1400 is the best bidet easily available in the USA. I’m a huge fan.
Next up is actually a very similar bidet, but in the neighborhood of $200 less.
Brondell Swash 1000
See up to the minute pricing HERE.
The Brondell Swash 1000 is quite similar to the Brondell Swash 1400. They both share a ceramic core instant water heating system, oscillating dual nozzles with silver nanoparticle sterilization, a warm air dryer and a deodorizer.
If these features sound good enough, then, hey, my job is done and you can just go ahead and buy that butt buffer.
If you need a little more convincing, read on.
The features on the Brondell Swash 1000 toss it right up into the “super ultra luxury bidet” category.
As mentioned earlier, the Swash 1000 has instantaneously heated water, a warm air dryer, two stainless steel nozzles which tear bacteria and viruses apart with badass silver nanoparticles, and a deodorizer.
What The Swash 1000 lacks versus the Swash 1400 is either going to make you triumphantly shout out: “Heh! I never needed all those bells and whistles anyway. All I want is a clean booty.” OR “Ehhhh, well….. I love night lights, hidden cables, user profiles and replaceable deodorizers.”
The Brondell Swash 1000 on the left and the Brondell Swash 1400 on the right.
Maybe I should have used a spoiler tag up there, but in short, the main differences between the Swash 1000 and the Swash 1400 come down to aesthetic changes.
- The Swash 1000 doesn’t have a hidden compartment to clean up the look of the water and power connections.
- It also doesn’t have a night light (personally, something I gotta have, but I know many couldn’t care less).
- There have also been some cosmetic changes to the Swash 1400 that aren’t seen on the Swash 1000, such as contouring the base of the unit to better blend in with the toilet, creating a more seamless look.
Honestly, though, I love the look of both.
Earlier, it may have sounded like I was bashing the Swash 1000, but that’s far from the case (wouldn’t be on this list, otherwise)
In reality, many of the things it lacks ARE just extras and don’t actually directly contribute to a bidets prime directive: clean asses.
The features of the Brondell Swash 1000 are completely focused on booty blasting, posterior polishing, rear refreshing cleanliness.
This makes it a wonderful buy for those looking for a nice starter bidet that accomplishes its main goal in a satisfying and effective manner.