To our readers: The TOTO S350 is being discontinued shortly and will be replaced with the TOTO S550.  Both bidets come with all the same features, although the S550 has had a redesign (which I love) of both the washlet and the remote.  There have also been some slight changes under the hood, which I’ll get to later in the review.   As far as features go, however, you can consider this review applicable to both bidet models.

The King of Bidets?  Bow to the TOTO S550.

TOTO know a thing or two about making bidet toilet seats.  They coined the term “washlet” and were one of the first companies to start making electronic bidet seats which allow any toilet to evolve into a wondrous, ass-polishing throne.

The TOTO S550 is TOTO’s newest and most feature-packed bidet seat.

Having been in the bidet scene since its inception, TOTO have been steadily reworking their bidets to continually be at the forefront of bidet technology and trends.

Before we get into anything else, let’s take a peek a what’s going to immediately jump out as one of the more unique features of the S550: its Ewater+.

See up-to-the-minute pricing HERE.

What is Ewater+ and how does it set the S550 apart from other bidet seats?

Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which acts as a very effective cleaning and disinfecting solution.  According to Wikipedia, electrolyzed water is water which has had an electric current run through it.  Doing this produces a solution of hypochlorous acid and sodium hydroxide, which is apparently great at cleaning poo from toilet bowls.

The TOTO S550 will spray the bowl with a mist of Ewater+ as soon as you sit down as well as once you get up.  In practice, this keeps your bowl lookin cool, clean, and absent of little poop dudes.  Thank god for not having to reach for the dirty toilet bowl scrubber.

Also, the TOTO S550 will use this Ewater+ to clean the nozzle before and after each use.  Talk about clean!

Note: this solution is NOT used for cleaning YOU.  Just the toilet bowl and nozzle.

Next up on features unique to the TOTO S550 is its auto open and close lid.

This might not immediately seem like a feature that makes you think “Huh, I NEED that!” but after seeing it in action, I promise you, your mind is gonna change.

The auto-open and close of the TOTO S550 makes you feel like royalty as the seat invites you to take a seat, take a load off, drop a deuce, etc.

This is the last step in making the ancient human process of poopin’ totally hands-free.  No need to touch the seat, no need to wipe, no need to dry. 

Be confident that your phone most certainly WON’T be giving you pink-eye as long as the kids don’t get ahold of it.

Now, some have complained in the past about the S350’s auto open and close being a bit too sensitive and opening when someone simply walked past the bathroom.  The S550 has fixed this issue by making the sensor a little less sensitive and now opens only when you approach the front of your throne.

The TOTO S550 can be programmed to open the lid, or both the lid and seat automatically when you approach.  Also, if you’re a dude and only the lid opens and you don’t plan on taking a seat, a simple press on the remote can lift the seat as well.  This works in the opposite way as well, so the ladies can put just the seat down if both seat and lid are both left open.

The S550’s nightlight.  Not your typical glowing blue bowl.

Let there be light!

I should start this section by admitting that I love a glowing blue toilet bowl.  I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the feeling of being a futuristic Blade Runner about to “eliminate some replicants” (poop) or what, but those glowing blues just GET ME.

Despite all that, I love the S550’s nightlight.  It’s miles more practical than a glowing blue bowl, as it softly illuminates the area around the toilet.

Ok, how about the actual bidet features?

Well, in addition to the above features which are quite unique to the TOTO S550, this washlet also packs top-of-the-line cleaning and comfort features.

The bidet feature itself is totally customizable in terms of pressure, position and temperature. 

It also has a pulsating mode, oscillating mode and the option to switch the feminine cleansing from a narrow to a wide spray.

Also, the S550 packs one of the most effective warm air dryers around.  Like we said earlier, this helps provide a totally hands-free experience.

The new, slim remote

All of these functions work as you’d imagine – they get you clean and transform your daily booty-duty into an almost too-relaxing spa-like visit.

Now, TOTO has also made sure to make the use of the S550 as comfortable as possible.

Heated seats, a deodorizer and instantaneously heated water (no bulky, slow-heating reservoir here) make the S550 so comfortable and satisfying to use, you’re never going to want to leave your throne.

How is this thing different from the S350?

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

Glad you asked!

Perhaps the most striking difference is in appearance.

TOTO have given the S550 the option to be purchased in either the classic or contemporary style.

I much prefer the contemporary style, although your mileage may vary.

Also changed was the remote.  TOTO has made a much slimmer, easier to hold design.

As mentioned earlier, the internal sensors controlling the auto-open and close feature have been tweaked as to not be as sensitive as they were in the S350.  This works quite well and cuts down on unintentional openings of the lid/seat.

In addition, TOTO have done what they can to make the unit more energy efficient and better performing.  The heated seats will heat up significantly faster than those on the S350 and use less power in doing so.

In the end, the TOTO S550 is the best bidet by the best bidet company in the world.  If you truly want the best of the best, this is it.

An exceptionally clean, autonomous, customized cleaning experience each and every time you use it. 

I’ll leave you with this: Imagine waking up, the clock reads an annoying 5:25.  You need to go.  You get out of your cozy bed and make the short trek to the bathroom.  The walls are softly illuminated by the TOTO’s ever vigilant nightlight as the room is still dark in its predawn mystery.  The lid lifts itself up as you get near and you can almost hear it whisper “come hither, let go of the past”.

As the lid completes its ascent skyward, you sense exaltation in the air (or maybe it’s the Ewater+ premist?), an electric feeling runs down your spine. “Ah, hello again” you think to yourself.

You gaze into the completely white bowl and catch a glimpse of your reflection in the softly rippling water as the premist gently runs down the sides of the bowl, bringing with it a promise of eternal sanitation.  You come to realize you are a living, sovereign entity which has agency and the ability to change the world around you.

Finally, you sit.  The seat is warm, comforting, bringing the same womb-like calm and security as sleeping in the fetal position covered in down blankets on a crisp autumn night.

True, by Spandau Ballet starts playing… or does it?  Is it all in your head?  Nevermind.

You poop.

The deodorizer has been faintly, tenderly whirring since you took your seat, banishing your regrets and insecurities into the void of the vast, endless universe.

Feeling a sense of enormous well-being, you reach for the remote, “My scepter” you think, giggling quietly to yourself.

“Initiate cleaning” you whisper to no one as you press User Profile #1.  The TOTO S550 doesn’t judge.

Warm water greets you.  The oscillation function starts, adding its own reserved mechanical melody to the symphony of dripping water and the deodorizer’s indefatigable hum.

As the process nears its conclusion, you think about everything you’ve done to get here.  Everthing we’ve done.  Humanity.  Life.  Existence.

In the 13.7 billion year history of the universe, you exist at this moment.  Less than a flash, shorter than an instant.  This slice of reality is yours and you inhabit it fully although you sometimes waver about its importance; but in this moment you’re sure it has meaning.

The dryer turns on and strongly but oh-so-lightly pulls you back into the bathroom.

The warm air, grandma’s flower garden in the last month of summer.

You feel clean.  Not only physically.  You’re clean, you’re clean.

You regain your feet and head back to the bedroom.  You look back, unsure why.  You hear the deodorizer start its lazy return to “off”, accompanied by the familiar and satisfying hydraulic squirt and gurgle of the Ewater+ misting the bowl; ever cleaning, ever protecting.

As you slide back into bed to get that useless hour more of sleep, you feel the sheets regaining their warmth.  It’s pleasant.  Your eyes close with purpose only to open an hour later.

Somehow you don’t feel tired like you knew you would.  You feel alive.