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Why Aren’t Bidets Popular in America?

by @elioverbey

What do Britpop, Marmite, meat pies and bidets all have in common?

America doesn't really like bidets... yet

Why does she only fall for the jerks?! Give a nice guy a chance!

 

If the title of this article didn’t tip you off, the answer is: all have had a tough time infiltrating the hearts, minds and souls of the American public.  Popular elsewhere, these wonderful (yes, you should try them if you haven’t) movements and products haven’t pulled a Beatles and taken root across the pond.

What gives?  How could you not want a clean ass?

Well, it has a lot to do with history.

First, I’ll hit you with the abridged bidet origin story: The bidet came about in France, with the first being used as early as 1710.  In fact, the word “bidet” is derived from a French word for a chunky little pony and the image of straddling one of those beefy guys is similar to the position assumed while polishing your derriere with a bidet.

A lady using an old-fashioned bidet.

Yeah, old-fashioned bidets don’t look fun.

Another fun fact regarding early bidets is that the OG bidet wasn’t confined to the bathroom.  This wasn’t due to rebellious, freedom-seeking bidets doing what they wanted, but because  chamber pots were mostly bedroom devices and early bathrooms lacked the plumbing required for a bidet to function.

As plumbing technology advanced, bidets and chamber pots made the migration out of the bathroom.  Probably the worst thing to happen for  those of us who enjoy pooping next to where we sleep.  On the other hand, probably the best thing to happen for those of us who aren’t gross.

Bidets gained a hand-pump which allowed for water to be sprayed at your ass in the middle of the 18th century.  This was much preferable to instead having to dunk your butt it in a small pool of water and get in there with your hands as remnants of your doo float around.

Sounds awesome. What went wrong?

Americans thought bidets were immoral and too sensual.

We just weren’t ready for bidets.

America, being born of Britain, had a natural disdain for all things French.  Uh oh.  This arose not from us initially thinking bidets themselves were disgusting (that came later), but from the puritanical hatred of the perceived hedonism of the French.  So, we inherited our initial distrust of  bidets from our British roots.  Pretty bloody unfair.  During World War II, American GIs in Europe were met with bidets in brothels.  Once they got home, another coat of scarlet paint was lathered onto the stigma against them.

After the war, most bathrooms weren’t designed with a bidet in mind.  Ever since then, even if the homeowner didn’t hold a grudge against bidets, the standard American bathroom has simply been too small to accommodate one.

Rear Wars: A New Hope

Arnold Cohen.  The inventor of our modern electric bidet seat and an American.  Surprised?

Arnold Cohen invented the modern bidet seat.

Truly, a great American inventor.

Born in Brooklyn, Mr. Cohen invented the modern bidet seat in the 1960s.  A seat capable of both washing and drying the tush was way ahead of its time as advertising the product to the prudish American public of the time was next to impossible.  Japanese toilet maker, TOTO jumped at the opportunity and bought Cohen’s design and have been making incredible bidet seats ever since.

Since then, bidets have slowly (like, super freaking slowly) started to spread across the U.S..  In 2006, the National Kitchen and Bath Association finally started to track bidet statistics and noted that in that year, 650,000 bathrooms were built with a bidet in the U.S..

Now, with more features, pricing options and wider availability, Americans are starting to accept bidets as an acceptable, cleaner way to do the doo.

Check out our guide to bidet attachments for affordable (think ~$50) bidet options as well as our picks for the best electric bidet seats under $300.  Happy bidet-ing!

Enter the Tushy

by @elioverbey

The Tushy is an attractive, effective and easy to install bidet attachment. How is does it compare vs other brands?

It’s with increasing frequency that new combatants enter the ring in the fight for toilet supremacy.  This is, of course, a delight to us on the sidelines, cheering for the underdogs to unseat the complacent kings of old.

With bidet attachments, this is especially exciting, as competition in the market has devolved into clone wars, with most companies putting out barely indistinguishable products with the same features and looks.

See how much the ol’ Tushy Classic is going for HERE

The Brand

Tushy or: How I Learned to Stop Being Embarrassed and Love the Poo.

What you'd look like on a Tushy

We don’t recommend crossing your legs while bidet-ing.

Enter the Tushy; surfing onto the scene atop a board of attitude on a mile-high wave of cool. Created by Miki Agrawal, the straightforward marketing genius who is behind pee and period-proof ladies underwear; the Tushy is aimed simply at “people who poop”.

Through Miki’s guidance, the Tushy brand has been able to separate itself from most of its competitors by bringing a totally different image to the bidet buffet line that potential buyers must trundle through.

What you see when you scoot your bum over to the Tushy website is miles ahead of the sterile, textbookish pages run by some other bidet brands. There are poop-jokes aplenty, gifs, and a ‘mobilize the masses’ call to action found throughout that is exactly what is needed to bring a younger audience into the world of true poo-phoria.

Not only will you feel like a true badass when you order a Tushy, you’ll also feel like a saintly goodass, as each unit sold benefits the Samagra organization which is working hard to provide more public toilets to those in need in India.

Bamboo towels and toilet paperAlong with the bidet attachments themselves, Tushy is pushing hard for the sale of bamboo toilet paper and towels for drying – an environmentally friendlier alternative to traditional TP.

A smart move by Tushy, as most people who buy a bidet are at least partially motivated by the environmental benefits they tout.

The Product

A classic bidet attachment with an inventive style.

The three colors of tushy are classic, royale and noir.

Three flavors of Tushy: Classic, Royale and Noir

While the Tushy brings little new to the table in terms of functionality, the look of the thing is what has me most excited.  Much like the GenieBidet, the team at Tushy has taken aim at the stale, horrifically boring, cookie-cutter design of most of the competition.

The design is modern and while not exactly elegant, it has a minimal aesthetic that is hard not to like.  In my eyes, it’s in a different level altogether from 90% of the other bidet attachments  on the market.  It comes in three color options: Classic, Royale, and Noir.

The features of the Tushy are quite standard: there are two models available, one with cold water only and another with the option for hot and cold water.  Both units feature a cheeky little switch below the control dials that changes the angle of the nozzle.  This is a neat change from the typical dual-nozzle solution most bidets opt for when confronted with cleaning both the bum and feminine The Noir Warm and Cool Tushy and the Classic Cool Tushycleansing.

The installation is just as easy as with other bidet attachments.  Tushy has opted for fitting rails as opposed to discs that will adjust to fit nearly any toilet.

There is an installation video provided by Tushy as well, which I’m going to include here so that you can get a feel for the type of company image Tushy is trying to cultivate (even if you don’t have one or already know how to install a bidet attachment, it’s worth a view).

The Tushy looks poised to usher in a new era of butt-hygiene awareness amongst young people, and that is worth recognizing.  While the product itself is far from revolutionary, its looks and marketing strategy are certainly worth talking about.

Do your rumpus a favor and check out the Tushy here.

Bidet Attachments – What are they?

by @elioverbey

Most people know what a bidet is, but what is a bidet attachment?

We can all agree that having a clean butt is exhilarating.  Walking, sitting, running, dancing, combing, eating, clapping, yawning – everything feels better with a hygienic heinie.

Bidets provide a way to keep your rear feeling as if you’ve just showered after every toilet-bound adventure.

Unfortunately, the high-tech, robotic, bordering on sentient toilet seat bidets popularized by Japan come at a price premium, with most worthwhile models costing $250 or more.

What if you don’t need a robot getting comfortable with your private areas?

What if all you want is a fresh fart canyon?

In that case, a bidet toilet attachment is exactly what you’re looking for.

Read on to learn the basics of what exactly a bidet toilet attachment is, and which ones are the best of the bunch.

A bidet attachment attached to a two-piece toilet

Bidet attachments LOVE your toilet.

Parts of a bidet attachment.

Bidet attachments are blissfully simple devices that – you guessed it – attach to your toilet.  They don’t replace your existing toilet seat; they instead make their new home in the area between your toilet seat and the rim of the toilet itself.

A bidet attachment will have a control panel on the right side (sorry, lefties!).

This will have a couple dials or a lever which you can use to control the water pressure, temperature and function (nozzle cleaning, feminine wash, rear wash).

 

Connected to the control panel is a thin plastic housing which is going to be nestled between your toilet seat and toilet rim.

This piece will have some form of mounting to attach it to your toilet.  Usually this means rotating or sliding plates that allow the unit to be easily connected to nearly any two-piece toilet.

It also contains the water connection from the control panel to the bidet nozzle, usually in the form of a very small hose.

 

Finally, we arrive at the stalwart workhorse of any bidet, the bidet nozzle.

Depending on which model you have, there will be either one or two nozzles (for front and rear washing).

Every mechanical bidet’s nozzle will automatically retract after use, with some also being self cleaning.

This means that when you stop the flow of water, the nozzle will retract into its housing to protect it from the ungodly fluids and particles that love to hang out in toilets.

The parts of a mechanical bidet.

The anatomy of a bidet attachment.

How does a bidet attachment work?

After reading the appetizer sections about the basics of mechanical bidets and their parts, we’re finally ready to dive into the main course, the bidet-mignon, if you will – actually using your new bathroom upgrade.

So, how do you use a bidet attachment?

  1. Mount your throne, for this is the first step to attaining cleanliness of the booty.
  2. Pinch a loaf, maybe two, weary traveler; for to become clean, you must first dirty thyself.
  3. When relieved of excess baggage (worry not, emotional baggage can also be shed here in this place of peace), peer to your right and lower thy gaze until the panel of impending purity enters your view.
  4. Manipulate the controls, select thy desired temperature (brace thyself if warmer waters are unavailable, for winter is coming to your southern kingdoms) and pressure.  Beware! Do not directly jump to the highest pressure setting; as the philosopher Epictetus once warned, “If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.”
  5. Adjust thyself to suitably align with the cleansing beam which comes forth from the noble nozzle of neatness. Be not afraid, this bodily adjustment may indeed need to be repeated several times within the same cleansing session, as some filthy, malicious particles will no doubt try to escape the reach of the waters of wellness at the outset.
  6. When thou hath been satisfactorily purified, engage in barter with the nearby roll of toilet paper.  Mayhaps one square will be adequate for drying?  Mayhaps two?  No matter, you have lessened the paper merchant’s power in this realm by reducing your kingdom’s need for his products.
  7. Stand proud and go forth, secure in the knowledge that you are fair, pure and unburdened by worry.

In other words, sit down, do your business, select the appropriate temperature and pressure, open the flow of water, adjust your rear to ensure the whole area gets sprayed, dry yourself off and get on with your day.

Ned Stark using a bidet attachment

Initially, Ned didn’t want the throne, but that’s nothing a bidet attachment couldn’t change.

How do you choose the right bidet attachment?

This section is going to be quite straightforward, as there really aren’t THAT many variables to juggle when it comes to bidet attachments.

  • Quality components

For me, the most important feature of any mechanical bidet is going to be the quality of its parts.  Look for bidet attachments that use ceramic and metal valves.

It is possible to find decent bidets with plastic valves (this Astor Bidet comes to mind), but I prefer the potential for true longevity offered by sturdier construction.

  • Warm water or nah

Jack Torrance frozen by cold water from a bidet.

All cold water and no warm water make Jack an uncomfortable boy.

When deciding between a bidet attachment that has warm water and one that doesn’t, consider these two factors:

Do you live in an area that has a true winter with very cold months?

Are you sensitive to cool or cold water? 

If you answered yes to either of those, you might want to seriously consider opting for a warm-water option.

Living in Michigan for most of my life, I can attest to the incredibly uncomfortable temperatures our cold water could reach during the winter.

If I had to spray my moneymaker with that level of hellish, numbing cold, I’d probably just go back to using toilet paper.  It’s sad, but true.

  • Will this bidet be used by any ladies

Unless you’re a dude who is living alone, consider getting a bidet attachment that features two nozzles.

One will be for the traditional rear cleansing, while the other will spray a gentler, more diffuse spray more forward for feminine cleaning.

It is great for everyday hygiene of the area as well as extremely nice to have during monthly periods.

That’s right, a bidet or a bidet attachment can help with the mess of monthly periods.

  • Lever or dial control

Dial operated mechanical bidet versus a lever operated mechanical bidet

Dial v Lever Operation

This is a minor variable and comes down to personal preference.

Do you want to control the water pressure and temperature with dials or a lever?

I prefer a lever because it streamlines the control panel, looks cooler (in my opinion) and feels better to use (also, only my opinion here).

Some prefer dials as they feel they have more control over pressure than with a lever, although I haven’t found this to be the case.

Some of the leading bidet attachments compared:
Astor Fresh Water BidetLuxe Neo 180Luxe Neo 320Superior Bidet Supreme
Ceramic Valves?No, plasticYesYesYes
Warm Water?NoNoYesYes
Feminine Cleanse?NoYesYesYes
Average Price~$30~$50~$70~$100

Take a look at our review of the Luxe Bidet Neo 320, my personal pick for the best bidet attachment, or feast your eyes on our expanding list of bidet attachment reviews.

COCO Bidet 9500R/RS Review

by @elioverbey

The COCO Bidet 9500R/RS

With nearly every conceivable feature, the COCO Bidet 9500 is impressive on paper, but doesn’t quite stack up in a real bathroom.

More pictures and current price.

ProsCons
High quality wand and nozzlePoor customer service
So many featuresNo single feature works amazingly well
Functional remoteTankless heating isn't truly immediate or endless
Good price

First, the basics:

  • This is a bidet seat, so it will be replacing your old toilet seat.
  • It is electric, you will need access to a power outlet (three pronged).
  • Available in elongated (R) or round (RS) sizes.
  • It comes in white only.
  • You will need a phillips-head screwdriver (and possibly a flat-head screwdriver, depending on how your old toilet seat is mounted) for installation.
  • All other installation components are included.
  • A separate remote controls all functions.
  • One-year full and three-year limited manufacturer’s warranty.

The features:

 

 

 

 

Expand
  • Aluminum coated three-in-one wand (posterior, feminine and enema modes)
    • Wand has two nozzles.
      • One posterior nozzle covers all basic bidet functions (pulsating, oscillating, etc.) and the enema feature.
      • Anterior nozzle has a more diffuse spray pattern for feminine cleaning.
  • Tankless water heating
    • Heats water quickly and on-demand .
  • Adjustable nozzle position
    • Can move the nozzle to desired position.
    • Works for all wash modes.
  • Oscillating (listed as “massage”)
    • The wand moves back and forth for a more thorough clean.
    • Works with both the posterior and feminine cleansing options.
  • Pulsating
    • Pulses of water can provide therapeutic effects for sufferers of hemorrhoids or constipation.
  • Enema mode
    • Turns the pressure to 11 in order to remove the most stubborn of particles.
  • Child mode
    • Adjusts the pressure and nozzle position for kids.
    •  Provides one minute of oscillating cleanse followed by three minutes of drying time so you child only needs to press one button.
  • Nozzle self clean
    • Douses the nozzle with water.
    • Works automatically before and after each use.
  • Warm-air dryer
    • Heats with Far Infrared in addition to heated air.
      • Far Infrared uses long wavelength infrared waves to penetrate and heat more than air.
      • Completely safe and used in numerous other consumer products such as hair dryers and food processing.
  • Deodorizer
    • Uses activated carbon and a small fan to cycle the air from inside the bowl.
  • Four user profiles
    • Water pressure and nozzle position are saved.
  • Small LED night light
    • The COCO name lights up on the outer lid.
  • Adjustable water pressure
  • Adjustable water temperature
  • Adjustable seat temperature
  • Seat sensor
    • Locks all functions unless someone is seated on the unit.
  • Self Diagnosis
    • Monitors the unit’s operation and can determine where a problem stems from.
  • “Learning” eco-mode
    • COCO Bidet has a similar process to TOTO, where the seat will learn when to conserve power by analyzing times when the unit is and isn’t used.
  • Slow closing lid
  • Can support up to 280 pounds

 

 

 

COCO BIDET 9500R Remote

A look at the 9500’s remote. Solid and smartly designed.

The Pros:

  • Price-performance ratio is high
    • More features than you’d expect for the price.
  • Aluminum-coated nozzle
    • Always a plus, COCO Bidet has made an attractive, compact wand that is durable and functional.
  • Cleaning is effective
    • The spray pattern and pressures combine for a satisfying clean and fresh feeling.
  • Easy to install
  • Nice remote
    • The remote is responsive and generally easy to operate.  There are some functions (like setting/using user profiles and extending the wand for manual cleaning) that you will need to read the manual to learn the right button combination for.

The Cons:

  • Customer service is lacking
    • Many customers report having to pay shipping to and from the Oklahoma service center (amounts to over $50) even though their unit was still under the full one year warranty.
  • Tankless heating isn’t immediate or unlimited
    • The heating unit takes anywhere from 3-10 seconds to adjust the water to your desired temperature.
    • The desired heat can be maintained for 1.5-2 minutes until cooling off a bit (still comfortable, but noticeably cooler.
  • Flimsy lid
    • The lid is a cheap plastic shell that cannot be sat on.
  • Weak dryer
    • Despite the incorporation of far infrared technology, the dryer still takes just as long as most other bidet seats.

Final Thoughts:

The COCO 9500R/RS is a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none device.  For the price, its a good buy as it packs in every feature you can think of.  Everything fulfills its purpose, but not exceptionally.

Check out more photos and the current price.

Brondell GS-70 GoSpa Review

by @elioverbey

The Brondell GS-70 GoSpa

Brondell’s GoSpa is a functional travel bidet with a large bottle and adequate spray pressure.

Current price and more photos.

ProsCons
Good spray pressure.Airlock leaks a bit.
Bumps on bottle help with grip.
Adequate water supply.
Travel bag doesn't advertise what's inside.

First, the basics:

  • About 7 inches long without the nozzle attached.
  • Nozzle is 5 inches long.
  • Comes with a detachable nozzle, 400ml squeeze bottle and a small carrying bag.
  • Non-electric (uses only your hand pressure to operate).
  • It comes only in purple/white as shown in the the attached picture.
  • Nozzle has a small hood and five holes for a focused stream with adequate pressure.
  • Utilizes an “airlock” to determine pressure.
    • This is a small hole on the bottom of  the squeeze bottle that you can cover with your finger to prevent water from leaking out of the nozzle when you are about to use the unit.
    • When you uncover the hole, you can squeeze the bidet while the hole acts as an air intake.  This should allow for a nice, steady stream with easily controllable pressure and also allows the bidet to re-inflate itself so that it can be more easily squeezed again.
    • Some water may (probably WILL) leak out of this if the bidet is right-side up.
  • Can be used with both warm and cold water (essentially whatever is available in the restroom!).
  • One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

  • Good pressure.
    • The nozzle design has five small holes.  This keeps the stream focused and the pressure high.
  • Squeeze bottle is a decent size.
    • 400ml will be, in most cases, enough to finish the job for anyone without the need to suffer “the refill of shame”.
  • Bumps on bottle provide superior grip.
    • With leaky airlocks in portables, chances are, you’ll get your hands a bit wet.  Brondell has added thoughtful bumps along the middle of the bottle to aid with gripping the device.
  • The cost.
    • You won’t find a non-electric portable that will bankrupt you, but I always think it is worth mentioning that your out-and-about hygiene can be taken care of for such a modest price.
  • Nozzle angle.
    • Although some different (not more difficult) maneuvering is required compared to travel bidets with curved nozzles, it isn’t any harder to hit a bulls-eye with the Brondell.
  • Nozzle can be stored in the bottle.
    • Pop the top off, flip it over and it fits nicely into the bottle.  It can’t be screwed down or in any way attached in this configuration, so be sure you’ve emptied all water before attempting this advanced maneuver.
  • Long enough.
    • With a 7 inch bottle and a 5 inch nozzle, you will have plenty of buffer between yourself and the conflict area.
  • Carrying case isn’t THAT bad.
    • This comes down to Brondell not having the word “bidet” in their name (that’s all that’s on the bag: “Brondell”), so it leaves a little mystery as to what’s inside.

The Cons:

  • Leaky.
    • Another portable bidet with a leaky one way valve.
    • It seems impossible to get this right and wet hands are becoming a trademark of the travel bidet.

Final Thoughts:

Brondell has made a simple product that simply works.  There aren’t any bells, whistles or kazoos, but there are some grip bumps, a decent travel bag and an adequate water supply to get the job done.  The few nozzle holes also provide a bit more pressure than some other travel bidets, so if that’s most important to you, consider the Brondell GoSpa.

Check out more photos and the current price HERE.

Travel Bidet Enlightenment – The Inside Scoop on Portables

by @elioverbey

Bidets are wonderful, but now that you’re out the front door, how do you stay clean?

There’s nothing quite like a sparkling-clean bum to improve your day.  A blast of H2O can give you an instant confidence boost, enhance your comfort and  put the “my butt is clean” strut back into your step.

A common problem bidet users encounter is not having enough room in their bag to carry their bidet seat with them to the park, mall, grandma’s house or wherever else they may find themselves.

A backpacker scans the horizon to find a suitable place to connect and use his BioBidet bidet seat.

Thankfully, travel bidets (also called portable bidets) exist.  These magnificent little squirt bottles are a cheap, quick and easy way to freshen the least fresh of places while on the go.

A portable bidet will typically consist of a squeeze bottle that can hold anywhere from 300ml to 650ml of water, a detachable nozzle and a (usually dorky) “travel bag”.

A scientific dissection of a popular travel bidet.

How do portable bidets work?

As seen above in the picture taken from Restroom Geographic’s April 2004 issue, a travel bidet has two components: a squeeze bottle and a nozzle that can be taken off for easy filling and also makes the unit more compact.

After a user struggles to free the bidet from its chintzy tote bag, it will be filled up at a sink and the nozzle will be reattached.  After you finish up your business, you’ll need to invert the travel bidet in order to get it where it needs to go.

Travel bidets have a one way valve on the bottom that acts as a “airlock”.  Covering this valve with your finger will stop any water from trickling out of the nozzle while it’s upside-down.  The valve also serves to keep water in as it’s rightside-up before use.

The International Bidet Station keeps its airlock closed as it orbits Earth.

After the bidet is inverted and in position, it can be squeezed to release its payload (H2O).  The airlock is released and will let air into the bidet to ensure a steady, smooth cleaning stream.  If you need more pressure, you can either squeeze harder or cover the airlock.

When you’re finished, you can inspect the bidet for any splatter artifacts, clean it up (I recommend using a bit of toilet paper to wipe any unsightly remnants off first, then hitting it with water and soap from the sink), pop it in its travel bag and then seal it away in your backpack, purse, etc.

How do you choose the right travel bidet?

In a world where choice is champion, many products (bidet seats included) offer so many options that it can become overwhelming when trying to settle on the best model.

Thankfully, the world of travel bidets is quite simple, with only a few differentiating features between various models:

  • Squeeze bottle size

The most important aspect of a portable bidet to consider. This is exactly what it sounds like: how  much water will you have to get the job done.  You are most likely familiar enough with your bathroom exploits to gauge whether you’ll need more or less water, so choose accordingly – the trade-off for a big jug is going to be portability.

  • Nozzle length

Nozzle length will determine the level of flexibility required to achieve that pristine clean that bidet enthusiasts are always going on about.  A longer nozzle means less reaching and less moving in general as they are easier to adjust.  Once again, as nozzles get lengthier, portability decreases.

  • Color

A pretty insignificant detail, as nobody is gonna see you using your travel bidet and it seems like every single model comes in a shade of either blue or green.

Some of the leading portable bidets compared:
Brondell GoSpaBlue Bidet BB-20BioBidet Palm TP-70SmarterFresh Travel Bidet
Bottle Size400ml350ml450ml650ml
Nozzle Length5 in4 in7.5 in7.5 in
ColorPurpleBlueBlue Blue

Take a look at our review of the BioBidet Palm TP-70, one of the best potable bidets available.

Note: There are also electronic travel bidets and I may cover them at a future time, but for now, I’m just sticking to hand pressure operated portables.

Superior Bidet Supreme Review

by @elioverbey

The Superior Bidet Supreme Review

A surprisingly expensive bidet attachment.  Does it have the features to justify its steep price?

More photos and the current price.

ProsCons
Metal valve construction.Pricey compared to others
Full-featured.No innovation or unique qualities.
Easy to operate control panel.

First, the basics:

  • This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
  • There are two nozzles; one for posterior cleaning and another for feminine cleaning.
  • It has a nozzle cleaning function.
  • Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
  • It will fit virtually any toilet.
  • It comes in white with gray accents.
  • You will need a screwdriver and a wrench to install.
  • All functions are controlled by turning one of the three dials.
  • The nozzles automatically retract when the bidet isn’t being used.
  • There is a splash-guard that blocks both nozzles and their housing from coming into contact with bodily fluids.
  • Angle of the nozzles can be adjusted by tilting their housing forward or backward.
  • One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

  • Metal internal valves.
    • Always a pro, for me.  Not having to worry about brittle plastic valves shattering like teenage hearts is reassuring and bodes well for a long-lasting product.
  • Provides all functions expected of a top-tier non-electric bidet.
    • There’s nozzle cleaning, hot and cold water and dual  nozzles.
  • Easy operation via control panel.
    • Clearly labeled controls and easy to manipulate dials.
  • Easy to install.
    • Installing a bidet-attachment could very well be your first exposure to the world of plumbing.  Thankfully, Superior Bidet keeps it simple like most others and shouldn’t be a challenge for anyone without dexterity or strength issues.
    • Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet.  Superior Bidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
      • An installation video provided by Superior Bidet:

         

  • The nozzles automatically extend and retract and are protected by a splash-guard.

    • When you activate the water, the desired nozzle will extend and begin to spray.
    • When you stop the flow of water, the nozzle retracts, keeping it clean for the next use.
    • The splash-guard blocks the nozzles and their housing from the front and opens like a door so that you can easily access the nozzle itself.
  • A one-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

  • Completely standard.
    • What I mean by this is that while it functions well and is fairly durable, Superior Bidet has done nothing to set them apart from other bidet attachments.
    • This isn’t a big con, but with this bidet attachment costing more than most others, I’d expect some innovation.
  • Another case of a cold-water plastic t-adapter.
    • For the price, Superior Bidet could surely have included two metal t-adapters  instead of one.
    • A leaky t-adapter can destroy a floor like a fedora can destroy your reputation. Once again, I would recommend not chancing a leak and buying a metal t-adapter along with the bidet.
  • Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
    • This can be slightly uncomfortable as well as a bit unattractive.
    • This is inherent in bidet attachments, however.  Any other bidet attachment review is going to mention the same problem.
    • An easy fix is available, as most home-improvement stores offer toilet seat risers to increase the height of the front of the seat, so that it is level.

Final Thoughts:

Superior Bidet has done a good job of providing a solid, functional bidet that will squirt you with the best of them.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t do this in an innovative or elegant way which I would expect for its premium price.  I would recommend this bidet for those who like the control panel and color scheme, as everything else is very comparable to other, cheaper bidet attachments.

Check out the Superior Bidet Supreme’s price HERE.

GenieBidet AB-2000 Review

by @elioverbey

The GenieBidet AB-2000

The GenieBidet AB-2000

A beautiful, thin, unique bidet attachment with functional cold-water front and rear cleanse. GenieBidet raises the bar.

More photos and the current price.

ProsCons
Refreshingly unique appearance.No warm water.
Satisfying knob operation.Still raises seat back enough to create slight gap between seat and rim.
Thinner than most bidet attachments.No manual nozzle cleaning option.
Dual nozzles or rear and feminine cleansing.

First, the GenieBidet’s basics:

  • This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
  • There are two nozzles; one for posterior cleaning and another for feminine cleaning.
  • It has an automatic nozzle cleaning function.
  • Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
  • It will fit virtually almost all two-piece toilets.
  • It comes in white only.
  • You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
  • The water pressure is controlled by twisting a knob.
    • Twist right for feminine cleanse, left for rear wash.
  • The nozzle automatically retracts after you finish using it.
  • One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

  • Solid brass t-adapter and ceramic valves.
    • This is something I have come to think of as required in a bidet attachment.  GenieBidet are following the trend of providing slightly more costly bidet attachments that have much higher quality.
  • Striking looks.
    • The GenieBidet attachment is so different from other bidets in terms of appearance.  It is thinner (about 1/8”) than most others and sports a minimalist knob as the bidet control.
    • If you want something that looks nothing like the other, mostly boring bidet attachments, there aren’t many other options.
  • Easy to install.
    • Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install.
    • Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet.  GenieBidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
  • Dual nozzles.
    • For around $40 at most vendors, the GenieBidet manages to impress with separate nozzles for rear and feminine cleansing.
  • An one-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

  • No warm water option.
    • The GenieBidet AB-2000 is sleek to a fault.  The minimalist design leaves no room for a warm water connection or control.
    • Could be an issue in colder areas.
  • Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
    • Despite being the thinnest bidet attachment I’ve seen, there is still a gap that is created after installing, despite GenieBidet advertising the opposite.
    • Not a big problem, as toilet seat risers are available and, honestly, the gap created is hardly noticeable once you’ve sat down.

Final Thoughts on the GenieBidet AB-2000:

Buy the GenieBidet toilet seat attachment if your primary concern (besides cleaning your dumper) is appearance.  If you’ve looked at numerous other bidet attachments before arriving here, I’m sure you’ve noticed how they all look like siblings.  The GenieBidet may lack hot water and a manual cleansing function, but it cleans well and looks fabulous.

Check out the GenieBidet AB-2000’s price HERE.

Luxe Bidet Neo 320 Review

by @elioverbey

The Luxe Bidet Neo 320

Hot and cold water, dual nozzles and a lever-action spray.  This is a king among bidet attachments.

More photos and the current price.

ProsCons
High-quality componentsCold-water t-adapter isn't as good as hot-water metal adapter
Lever feels great
Attractive for a bidet attachment

First, the basics:

  • This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
  • There are two nozzles; one for posterior cleaning and another for feminine cleaning.
  • It has a nozzle cleaning function.
  • Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
  • It will fit virtually any toilet.
  • It comes with blue or white accents.
  • You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
    • Luxe Bidet says that everything required for installation is included, including tools.  This means a plastic wrench.  You might want a beefier steel one, but the included plastic one serves its purpose for the most part.
  • The water pressure is controlled by pulling a lever.
  • The nozzle automatically retracts when the bidet isn’t being used.
  • There is a splash-guard that blocks the nozzle and its housing from coming into contact with bodily fluids.
    • This can easily be opened to allow for cleaning of the nozzles.
  • Eighteen-month manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

  • Very durable, high-quality construction.
    • With all of Luxe Bidet’s models, you can expect ceramic and metal valves which provide added longevity compared to plastic.
  • Lever control.
    • This could come down to personal preference, but I much prefer a lever to a dial.  It’s easier to grasp and use, looks nicer and feels like I’m shifting gears in the Batmobile when I use it.
  • Easy to install.
    • Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install. Here is a video of the process provided by Luxe Bidet.
    • Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet.  Luxe Bidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
  • The nozzles automatically extend and retract and are protected by a splash-guard.
    • When you activate the water, the desired nozzle will extend and begin to spray.
    • When you stop the flow of water, the nozzle retracts, keeping it clean for the next use.
    • The splash-guard blocks the nozzles and their housing from the front and opens like a door so that you can easily access the nozzle itself.
  • An eighteen-month manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

  • Plastic t-adapter for cold water connection can be very hit or miss.
    • A significant number of users reported leaks with the included t-fitting and needed to purchase a replacement.
    • Luxe Bidet really need to include two metal adapters instead of one.
    • I would recommend not chancing a leak that could destroy your floor if it isn’t caught early enough and buying a metal t-adapter along with the bidet.
  • Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
    • This can be slightly uncomfortable as well as a bit unattractive.
    • This is inherent in bidet attachments, however.  Any other bidet attachment review is going to mention the same problem.
    • An easy fix is available, as most home-improvement stores offer toilet seat risers to increase the height of the front of the seat, so that it is level.

Final Thoughts:

With many shared features of other Luxe Bidet models, the Luxe Neo 320 has built upon a strong foundation.  The lever action and hot water connection easily justify the price of the unit when compared to cheaper models.  Also, what you’re buying with any Luxe Bidet model is solid construction and the support of an established company that takes customer support seriously.  In my opinion, this is the best non-electric bidet attachment you can buy.

Check out the Luxe Neo 320’s price HERE.

The Best Bidet Attachments

by @elioverbey

By: Michael Erickson

There is growing competition in the non-electric bidet attachment market.  Of course, this is great news for the potential bidet buyer as it yields a plethora of choices all coming in at reasonable prices.

In this rundown, I’ve found that two factors in particular are the most important in deciding which bidet attachment to choose: the durability of the unit and its appearance.

Most bidet attachments feature very similar features besides the two  mentioned above.  Some swap out one feature for another, but really, most operate in nearly the same way. To cut to the chase, which ones are worth buying and why? Let’s examine three of the best in no particular order.

 

Luxe Bidet Neo 320

Luxe bidet has made a name for themselves in the bidet attachment arena.  They provide not only very functional, attractive bidets, but they do it with high-quality parts that are meant to last.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Luxe Bidet has incorporated their affinity for long-lasting, durable components into the Neo 320, their highest priced model.

Determining factors

High Quality Parts

The Neo 320 uses “high-pressure faucet quality valves with metal/ceramic cores, a metal t-adapter, and a braided steel cold water hose instead of traditional plastic. The hot water hose is made from a durable polyurethane.”  For anyone who has purchased other bidets with cheaper, plastic parts and has experienced an issue with leaking, this might be one of the best reasons to give any Luxe Bidet model a chance.

Besides Luxe Bidet’s focus on quality, why choose the Neo 320?  A lot of this comes down to geography and personal preference, so take that into consideration.

Other features I love:

  • Lever activated spraying.
    • I prefer a lever to a knob.  Pulling on it makes me feel like I’m initializing the thrust on an intergalactic cruiser.  It’s also a bit easier to manage and operate than a knob, and is a better pick for those with less dexterous hands.
  • Hot water option.
    • This makes winter in a colder climate SO MUCH MORE BEARABLE!
    • Can take a while to heat up, as it uses the same heating as the rest of your household’s water.
      • Tip: run the nozzle cleaning while you wait for the water to heat up (this applies to all the other bidets listed, too!).
  • Blue/white and white/white color options.
    • Depending on the feng shui of your bathroom, one might work better than the other.  Take a look here to see both options.
  • Dual nozzles.
    • A great and needed feature for any women considering a non-electric bidet.  This provides both a rear wash and feminine wash, each with different spray patterns.  The rear wash is more focused and thus has more pressure and can get rid of heavy-duty messes.  The feminine wash nozzle has more holes, less pressure and covers a wider area in a more gentle spray.
    • Both nozzles are cleaned when the nozzle cleaning feature is used.
    • Both nozzles also retract automatically after use.
  • Nozzle splash-guard.
    • A nice feature in all Luxe Bidets.  The splash-guard is like a little door that covers both nozzles and further protects them from any nasty fluids or solids (semi-solids and anything in-between).  This works in tandem with the automatically retracting nozzles to provide you with a very sanitary experience every time.
  • 18 month warranty/30 day satisfaction guarantee.
    • Protect yourself!  Luxe Bidet offers a generous warranty with all of their Neo bidets.
    • The 30 day satisfaction guarantee is great, as some people may find they prefer a different type of bidet, or no bidet at all (shocking, but it happens).  Send it back, no questions asked!

The Neo 320 is a very nice bidet attachment for its modest price.  All these features for less than $100 at most retailers is a steal.  The improvement in your toileting experience as well as the toilet paper saved are well worth the price. If you live in a hot climate, check out the Neo 180 instead.  All the same features minus hot water.

 GenieBidet AB-2000

GenieBidet are a fairly new name in the butt-spraying game, only having started in 2015.  However, they have done a great job of redefining what a bidet attachment can be, in terms of appearance.  Instead of a traditional, somewhat blah-looking control panel, GenieBidet have made innovative design changes to bring you a modern, sexy and functional bidet sprayer.

Determining factors

The look

As I very subtly hinted at above, GenieBidet have made some very exciting advances in non-electric bidet design.  This is so refreshing, as it seems nearly every bidet attachment is a variation on three or four different designs.  Visual appeal is a very important aspect of a product that many people seek out, but has been seemingly ignored in the world of bidet attachments.

Finally, you can get a bidet attachment that will impress your friends eyes as well as their patooties.

Other features I love:

  • Dual nozzles.
    • By turning the knob of the GenieBidet one way or the other, the nozzle for rear or feminine cleaning will deploy.
  • Brass and ceramic valves and connectors.
    • Once again, other bidet companies need to take note: plastic components just aren’t durable enough!
  • Thin enough to reduce the “bidet attachment gap”.
    • Most bidet attachments will create a gap between the seat and toilet rim due to the unit raising the back of the seat up a couple of centimeters.
    • The GenieBidet will, in most cases, still create a gap, but it is smaller than with most others.
  • Self cleaning nozzles.
    • When the nozzles retract, they will be automatically cleaned by being doused in water.
  • One-year warranty.

Now, you might be thinking that this bidet is lacking in features compared to the others, but I’m not including it on this list for its features.  Seeing endless clones of bidet attachments is such a downer and it was invigorating to finally see a company innovate the stale designs that are so commonplace in the market.  GenieBidet not only provides a sultry little product, they provide one that is solidly built and works very well.

Superior Bidet Supreme

Superior Bidet is another company that has, thankfully, focused on using high-quality materials for the manufacture of their products.  Their bidets use metal valves, so you won’t have to worry too much about the internals breaking down over time.

Much like Luxe Bidet, they’ve made and sold numerous models and have gotten lots of feedback, which they are quite good at responding to.

Determining factors

Quality construction

Superior Bidet have done a good job of making reliable, durable bidets with strong components.  The metal valves and strong online presence/customer care and feedback set them ahead of other, comparable brands that didn’t make the list. Their solid bidets also look great, with chrome plated dials and an inoffensive color scheme that should match up with most bathroom’s decor.

Other features I love:

  • Dual nozzles.
    • Once again, a must for female or mixed living situations.  The nozzles are very similar to those in the Neo 320, with a more concentrated blast coming from the rear wash nozzle and a wider, softer wash from the feminine wash nozzle.
    • Manual nozzle cleaning function.
      • Keeps things clean and sanitary for every use.
      • It’s nice to be able to control when and how much you’d like to clean the nozzles.
  • Adjustable nozzle angle.
    • By pulling the nozzle housing forward, you can adjust the angle to three different positions.  This can help you get just the right angle of attack on the rebels of Uranus.
  • One-year warranty

Overall, this bidet attachment is a very good buy for the money and could be seen as a good investment for your bathroom as it should last for years and years.  While it doesn’t bring anything new to the table, it gets the job done and has the quality construction to edge out most others in its price range.  If you prefer a dial to a lever, this is comparable to the Neo 320.

Non-electric bidet attachments are starting to become more and more popular as people in North America are starting to accept the bidet as a convenient tool for hygiene and conservation.  I expect this list to change in the coming months as more innovative and attractive bidet attachments (like the GORGEOUS Hyundai Bobslei) start to become bigger sellers and provide a wider test population as to its longevity and function.

Stay tuned!