Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid vs. Alpha Bidet GX Wave

January 12, 2020 by @elioverbey

New bidets from a new company. How do they compare?

Alpha Bidet is a relative newcomer to the game with only 5 years on the market and only recently really starting to gain traction with their newest lineup of bidets.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid are the lower and middle tiers respectively of Alpha Bidet’s lineup.

They both polish posteriors, but how do you determine which is the best choice for you?

To compare, let’s look at a few different facets of the bidets at hand:

The cost
Best features
Who is this bidet for?

Let’s start with the lower cost model first, the GX Wave.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and its side panel control.

Cost

The Wave GX comes in at $279 on Alpha Bidet’s website (although Amazon lists it a bit less expensive) a whole $50 cheaper than the iX Hybrid.

Best features

Alpha Bidet packed a worthy boatload of great features into the GX Wave. While not quite the ridiculous bang for buck you get with the TOTO C100 which is more expensive than even the iX Hybrid.

Here they are at a glance:

Stainless steel nozzle – much more hygienic than plastic and longer lasting.
Hybrid water heating system – “never cold” water. It may not stay as hot as you like, but it never actually gets cold, thank God – Northerners know the pain of that icy winter water
Decently powerful dryer – a bit more powerful than the average bidet seat, but still isn’t going to get you 100% dry in a quick minute. Pro-tip: give it a quick pass with toilet paper first to speed that process up.
Oscillating nozzle – for me, this is a huge feature. Instead of having to ride my toilet seat like a regular at the bare-ass underground bull-riding club to get full coverage of the Pookushima Exclusion Zone.
Pulsating cleanse – pulses water for a massaging effect. Really helps those with occasional constipation (but don’t ask me to get into why).
Child wash – goes through a full wash/dry cycle so that the kids can’t exert any artistic freedom with their hygiene.
LED night-light – Some might find this totally uncessary, but I love these. It really makes those late night safaris into the bathroom much more pleasant. More importantly (to me) is that is just makes your toilet seem as if it’s from the future. Yep.
Strong rear wash – this is a separate nozzle from the regular rear wash. It outputs much more water at higher pressure to make sure you absolutely sparkle.
Sittable lid – this lid can support up to 200lbs, so to those who frequently find themselves just sitting in the bathroom, this goes out to you. Also, this is something the iX Hybrid DOESN’T have!
Nails the basics – As with most bidet seats, the basics are hard to mess up. There’s adjustable water pressure, heated seats (adjustable), a feminine nozzle, and a slow-close lid.

Who is this for?

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave is a really good value.

If you’re just dipping your toes into the wondrous world of bidets and have been dreaming of truly clean butts, consider the Alpha Bidet GX Wave.

This can also be a great secondary bidet if you’ve already got one in your primary bathroom and want to spruce up the guest bathroom.

Onto the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid.

The Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid and its remote control.

Cost

At $329 on Alpha Bidet’s website, you will be spending a reasonable premium to upgrade to this more advanced model (again, Amazon has a MUCH less expensive price point for this bad boy).

Best features

Let me start by saying the iX Hybrid has everything the GX Wave does except for the sittable lid and side panel control. If you really like that aesthetic, go for the GX.

What sets the iX Hybrid apart are:

Soft rear wash – an option for a softer, more dispersed stream – this is especially useful for those with painful hemorrhoids.
Blue LED night-light – yes, I think the blue is superior to the white. That’s just me, though.
Remote – this is a personal preference, but there are many who see having a remote as a step-up from a side panel. It can make the toilet more streamlined and prevent you from having to contort your wrist to reach the buttons.
Better water heating – endless warm water versus the “never cold” promise of the GX Wave. This alone may be worth the upgrade!

Who is this bidet for?

While the features that separate the iX Hybrid from the GX Wave aren’t overwhelming, the water heating method and the remote should be enough, in most cases, to convince one to upgrade.

This bidet is for those who want to take a full, first-step into the beautiful land of bidets without having to be quite as budget conscious. This is a great first bidet for a master bathroom.

The Best TOTO Bidets

December 8, 2018 by @elioverbey

TOTO has too many solid bidets to pick only one as the Best TOTO Bidet.

It’s true; these Japanese bidet-smiths have been crafting the finest bidets and toilets in all-the-land for countless centuries (well, since 1917 at least).

To help choose the best TOTO bidet for you, we’ll look at the best of what TOTO has to offer in three categories: best value, best overall, and a wildcard pick.

Let’s hit the floor running with the best value TOTO bidet: The TOTO C100

I’ve gone on and on about how the TOTO C100 is just the best thing ever for those of us with a more frugal approach to bidet buying.

Coming in at around $360 at most retailers, the TOTO C100 packs so much under the lid, it blows my mind every time I think about it.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C100 here.

With premium features that are usually reserved for the $500 and above club, TOTO has created one of the best value bidets. Period.

Those features I’m swooning over include both a deodorizer AND a warm-air dryer. In this price bracket, you can usually choose one, but rarely both.

Another feature I’m in love with and totally surprised to see at this price is a pre-misting function which will coat the bowl with a mist of water as soon as you sit down.

This is especially useful for those of us with eco-friendly low-flow toilets. The lower water level can sometimes lead to some, erm, “evidence” being left behind on the inner bowl after a session. Not with TOTO’s pre-mist!

A short and sweet demonstration of TOTO’s premist function.

There’s also a soft rear cleansing feature which is a more diffuse, gentle spray that is not expected at this price point, but absolutely welcome.

In addition to these incredible top-tier features, you get everything else that one would expect from an electric bidet-seat.

Heated seats, heated water, adjustable temperatures for both, adjustable nozzle position and water pressure as well as an oscillating function for the nozzle which wiggles it back and forth, cleaning a wider area.

Most importantly, it also includes a gentle frontal cleanse for the ladies. If you’re a woman or live with one, this feature is required!

In the end, the TOTO C100 is sure to provide everything needed for someone looking to get their first bidet, or even someone looking to upgrade from an entry level. For something you’re going to use every day, you really can’t go wrong with the Best Value TOTO bidet, the TOTO C100.

Also, check out our review of the TOTO C100 for a more comprehensive analysis.

Next up we’ve got the best overall TOTO bidet: The TOTO S550e.

The contemporary version of the TOTO s550e washlet — The TOTO S550e and its remote.
*drool*

I’ve gushed over this bidet more than any other, and for good reason.

The TOTO S550e ticks every box on the Best Bidet checklist.

It looks beautiful.

It packs in every conceivable feature.

It’s reliable and well constructed.

And for all that it does, is very reasonably priced.

Check the current price of the TOTO S550e here.

Auto opening/closing seat and lid, a warm-air dryer, deodorizer, instantaneously heated water, EWATER+ spray, a sleek remote and all the features you’d expect when it comes to the bidet itself.

While you may be familiar with the features listed above, I’m sure more than a few of you may be left wondering “What the heck is EWATER+?”

Well, it isn’t a gimmick. EWATER+ uses some basic chemistry to keep your toilet clean. The TOTO S550e electrolyzes water, creating a mild acid that aids in cleaning your toilet bowl.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu_3Bjzcljs

A quick peek at what TOTO’s EWATER+ is all about.

This solution is sprayed into your toilet bowl as a mist before and after each visit. In practice, it’s surprisingly effective in saving us from needing to use that nasty toilet brush.

These features and the high degree of quality control TOTO implements with this premium unit, and you’ve got an unparalleled luxury bidet.

To get a fuller idea of why this is the Best TOTO Bidet, check out our review of the TOTO S550e.

Wildcard time, baby! The TOTO C200 – The bidet I really want to write about that just doesn’t fit into a proper category.

The TOTO C200 with remote control operation.

Nearly edging out the TOTO C100 as the king of value, the TOTO C200 comes extremely close to dethroning (pun intended) the C100.

The C200 is about $50 more expensive than the C100.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C200 here.

What do you get for the added expense?

Well, you get a very sexy remote, a pulsating water mode and more settings for water, air and seat temperature (5 vs. 3) .

The remote is wonderful for those with mobility limitations, as sometimes the control panel can be tough to reach. It also lends a more streamlined look to the toilet.

The pulsating water mode is extremely useful for those of us who suffer from the occasional bout of constipation. The gentle pulses are kind of like a massage and will relax the muscles, allowing you to “go” more easily.

If these features are calling out to you, consider the TOTO C200, and also take a peek at our more in-depth article The TOTO C100 vs. The TOTO C200.

KOHLER C-230 Bidet Seat Review.

August 23, 2018 by @elioverbey

A beauty queen with a few screws loose.

The KOHLER C-230 has been called the most lovely of bidet seats, but is it actually a good bidet?

If looks were all that mattered, then I’d forever be single and the KOHLER C-230 would be a required purchase for every bidet seeker. Every time I look at this thing, I’m blown away by its sleek lines and the sexiest attached control panel I’ve seen (not to mention its sultry touchscreen remote).

[Read more…]

Brondell Swash SE600 Bidet Seat Review

July 16, 2018 by @elioverbey

Pledge your vassalage to the new king of sub-$300 bidets.

Check the insanely low price of the Brondell SE600 here.

Oscillation, pulsation, a warm-air dryer and a deodorizer?!

All that in addition to the old stand-bys of heated seats and water – The Brondell Swash SE600 has it all.

Brondell is aggressively trying it’s best to enter the new class of “luxury-budget” bidets. Bidets bristling with features, yet unbelievably cheap for all they offer.

Other notable entries in this class are the wonderful Novita Slimline, the true king of budget friendly bidets (although more than $300), the TOTO C100, and the stalwart lil trooper, the SmartBidet SB-110.

Big Features, Small Price

The Brondell Swash SE600 is, in my opinion outclassing almsot all other bidets in its price bracket of $200-300.

It does this by bringing features usually reserved for the $350+ clique.

What Brondell has done here is bring two features that were normally a “this or that” scenario in the land of budget bidets, and opted to include both while also not foregoing any of the cleaning functions. Including both the deodorizer and warm air dryer was a big surprise as a good number of bidets in this price range will sport a dryer, however the Brondell Swash SE600 is the first I’ve seen to also include a deodorizer.

Previously, the TOTO C100 was the lowest entry point someone could find both in.

There’s also a night light and a more surprisingly a pulsating cleanse mode which I’m a huge fan of and you just don’t often see in most budget bidets save for those by Bio Bidet who I’ve always admired for that.

Lookin’ Sleek There, Slick

Another area where Brondell consistently shines is their approach to bidet design. Never too flashy and always appealing. Brondell have stuck to a clean, modern motif for their bidets, most similar to TOTO who always keeps things muted and sensible.

The SE600 also packs a remote instead of an attached side panel design. This further slims the unit down to help provide that bathroom synergy that makes every excursion to the toilet a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

In the end, this bidet from Brondell is the best you’re going to find for less than $300.

It heralds the beginning of the market dominance by the cheaper, better bidets of tomorrow.

Check the insanely low price of the Brondell SE600 here.

TOTO C200 Review

May 27, 2018 by @elioverbey

How does the TOTO C100’s younger, more tech savvy brother -the TOTO C200- compare?

See up to the minute pricing on the C200 HERE.

The TOTO C200 has a lot in common with TOTO’s king-of-entry-level-bidets, the TOTO C100.

How similar ARE the TOTO C200 and C100?

The features the C200 shares with the C100 are exactly what makes the C100 (and therefore the C200) so great. Features you would never expect in a budget-friendly bidet:

It has an amazing pre-mist function which makes your bowl a slip n slide for turds. No more scraping off lil brownies from the sides of your toilet bowl.

There’s a deodorizer – erases all odorous evidence which makes it perfect for taking a stealthy dump while company is over.

The warm-air dryer allows you to have a totally hands-free experience. That’s right, hands-free. Sit down, do your business, push a button on the remote to clean, push another to dry, voila – you’re done. No reaching down into the shadow realm to poke around a poopy hole above a fetid swamp of poopy water. So much poop being avoided here, it’s really marvelous and my favorite thing about high-end bidets (especially those with budget friendly prices, like the C100/C200).

And of course, the standard bidet wash and the feminine frontal wash with the option to change the stream from wide to narrow, both with adjustable nozzle positions.

So, am I paying more just for the TOTO C200’s remote?

Nearly! But, not quite.

TOTO would (IMHO) be justified to simply pump out the same bidet, change the control panel for a remote and charge more. Other companies have done it (and with a much higher $$$ premium for the simple luxury of having a remote), but TOTO has also added a pulsating/massage cleansing mode AND two custom user profiles to retain the perfect set of parameters for the ultimate booty cleanse every time.

TOTO made the C200 sleeker, sexier, and also more feature-packed than the C100, all for around $60 more than the C100.

Some, ahem, OTHER companies have ONLY added a remote, yet upped the price by $100.

I give serious props to TOTO for their ability to produce a seriously well-built and endlessly functional bidet without giving into the easy temptation to gouge the customer’s wallet.

If you’re looking for the best budget-friendly bidet seat (or washlet, as TOTO calls them) with a remote, look no further than the TOTO C200, the king of sensible washlet upgrades.

Bio Bidet Slim TWO Bidet Review

April 24, 2018 by @elioverbey

Bio Bidet’s Newest Bidet -the Bio Bidet Slim Two is a Functional, However, Underwhelming Upgrade.

With the Slim ONE, Bio Bidet made a bare-bones, simple, ass-blasting device. It looked good, performed well and cost around $200.

Now, they’ve released the Slim TWO for nearly $300.

How exactly has the bidet evolved in it’s newest iteration and is it worth the additional cheddah?

How does the Slim ONE compare to the Slim TWO?

Well, I’d argue it should change its name to the Slim One and a Half for starters.

Read on to dig deeper into the Bio Bidet Slim TWO.

I have to admit, it does look nice.

The Bio Bidet Slim TWO is the Slim ONE with a remote.

That’s it.

While this isn’t a bad thing, and the Slim ONE could certainly benefit from a remote, I don’think the price is justified by such a meager addition.

Nonetheless, I still think this is a good bidet if you’re in the market for a relatively cheap option with a remote.

The Slim TWO’s chunky, nearly-square remote.

Let’s look at the Bio Bidet Slim TWO’s features:

The Bio Bidet Slim TWO comes with all the essential bidet features one would expect from an entry level bidet.

It has a heated seat and water, front and rear cleansing, a child mode, night light, an oscillating mode and a pulsating “massage” mode (ooo la la).

One interesting thing to note about the water heating system is that Bio Bidet was able to give the Slim TWO instantly heated water instead of a reservoir system.

This will allow the user to squirt squirt squirt that bidet until they’re absolutely sure no more lil turds are hanging out – all without fear of running out of warm water.

A feature like that is quite impressive in a $300 bidet.

It’s also unusual to find a pulsating mode in bidets at this price range, but it’s one of the things I like best about Bio Bidet, they include this feature on almost every one of their bidets.

If you have any trouble dropping the kids off at the pool, the massage feature works great for those of us who suffer from occasional constipation.

The Slim TWO shines through the night…. and the day if you forget to turn off the nightlight.

One feature that is slightly irksome for me is the nightlight. It isn’t automatic and there isn’t a clear button to press to turn it on and off.

In order to toggle the light, you need to hold down the + sign on the remote.

While this isn’t a deal-breaker, and I’d rather opt for this than no nightlight, it can be a bit annoying.

At the end of the day, though, I’m left wondering why the Bio Bidet Slim TWO costs $100 more than the Bio Bidet Slim ONE.

Bio Bidet even went so far as to copy and paste 99% of the Slim ONE product page on their website onto the Slim TWO page!

It’s the same bidet, for crump’s sake!

I don’t know why Bio Bidet had to have Kickstarter and IndieGoGo campaigns for this device (both of which raised ~$240,000 each) when all it is, is adding a remote to the same dang thing.

Ok, ok. I admit a remote is nice, but I would never pay $100 for the luxury of using one.

The $100 less expensive Slim ONE – with all the features of the Slim TWO

If you are in search of a value/budget bidet, I feel like VALUE is going to be your principal guiding force.

In that case, get a Slim ONE instead.

It looks nice, has all the same features, and is $100 (!) less.

The Best Brondell Bidets

April 4, 2018 by @elioverbey

Oh, Brondell. I’d sing an ode to your bidets if I weren’t a bidet disguised as a human who writes about bidets and therefore unable to sing.

Brondell has been in the competitive bathroom scene since 2003 and since then has become one of the most well-know bidet and toilet makers.

Let’s take a lil peek at their best bidets so far in 2020.

Brondell Swash 1400

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

Biscuit on the left, white on the right.

Brondell’s top of the line bidet still ranks as its best. With one of the most beautiful shapes and ominous yet wise looking sensor areas, the Brondell Swash 1400 is one of the best looking bidets around.

In fact, I love this bidet so much, they used to call me Big Swash Dude or BROdell back in high school.

The reasons I love the Swash 1400 bidet are two-fold.

First, and most obviously, are the features

The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.

There are all the features one could expect of a high-end bidet and even a few more.

For example, the Brondell Swash 1400 lets you control the width of the spray – meaning that you can choose from a concentrated, narrow spray to a wide, softer spray.

There is also a little dash of sci-fi in the nozzle. It is sterilized by silver nano-particles which literally rip bacteria and viruses apart. Intense. Metal.

The dryer is quite effective, as is the deodorizer – which, thank God, can be replaced easily, as needed.

Oh! And I almost forgot to mention the two programmable user settings.

The Swash 1400 certainly makes it pretty darn easy to clean yer ass.

The second reason the Swash 1400 bidet reigns supreme is its looks.

I’m a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.

While it isn’t doing anything necessarily mind-blowing/avant garde (nobody is asking for an avant garde bidet…yet), it checks all the right boxes as far as style goes.

Resembling other bidets in Brondell’s lineup, the Swash 1400 has sexy lines, and a hinge that frames the area which houses the guts that make this bidet tick.

The shape of the seat conforms nicely to most any batoot, and the hidden rear pocket stows away the unsightly power cables and water lines, leading to a sleek, minimal look.

Speaking of sleek and minimal, the Swash 1400 is thin, due mostly to its use of a ceramic core heating system which instantly heats water on-demand and forgoes the need for a large water reservoir system.

When push comes to shove, the Brondell Swash 1400 is the best bidet easily available in the USA. I’m a huge fan.

Next up is actually a very similar bidet, but in the neighborhood of $200 less.

Brondell Swash 1000

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

The Brondell Swash 1000 is quite similar to the Brondell Swash 1400. They both share a ceramic core instant water heating system, oscillating dual nozzles with silver nanoparticle sterilization, a warm air dryer and a deodorizer.

If these features sound good enough, then, hey, my job is done and you can just go ahead and buy that butt buffer.

If you need a little more convincing, read on.

The features on the Brondell Swash 1000 toss it right up into the “super ultra luxury bidet” category.

As mentioned earlier, the Swash 1000 has instantaneously heated water, a warm air dryer, two stainless steel nozzles which tear bacteria and viruses apart with badass silver nanoparticles, and a deodorizer.

What The Swash 1000 lacks versus the Swash 1400 is either going to make you triumphantly shout out: “Heh! I never needed all those bells and whistles anyway. All I want is a clean booty.” OR “Ehhhh, well….. I love night lights, hidden cables, user profiles and replaceable deodorizers.”

Brondell Swash 1000 versus Brondell Swash 1400

The Brondell Swash 1000 on the left and the Brondell Swash 1400 on the right.

Maybe I should have used a spoiler tag up there, but in short, the main differences between the Swash 1000 and the Swash 1400 come down to aesthetic changes.

The Swash 1000 doesn’t have a hidden compartment to clean up the look of the water and power connections.
It also doesn’t have a night light (personally, something I gotta have, but I know many couldn’t care less).
There have also been some cosmetic changes to the Swash 1400 that aren’t seen on the Swash 1000, such as contouring the base of the unit to better blend in with the toilet, creating a more seamless look.

Honestly, though, I love the look of both.

Earlier, it may have sounded like I was bashing the Swash 1000, but that’s far from the case (wouldn’t be on this list, otherwise)

In reality, many of the things it lacks ARE just extras and don’t actually directly contribute to a bidets prime directive: clean asses.

The features of the Brondell Swash 1000 are completely focused on booty blasting, posterior polishing, rear refreshing cleanliness.

This makes it a wonderful buy for those looking for a nice starter bidet that accomplishes its main goal in a satisfying and effective manner.

The Best TOTO Bidets

March 11, 2018 by @elioverbey

With 2019 way back in the rear-view mirror, it’s time to start looking into which bidets are the best of 2020.

Toto has established itself as one of the premier if not the premier bidet manufacturer.

With a lengthy history, going back 100 years, Toto has a legacy of making wonderful bathroom fixtures.

2020 hasn’t been the most exciting year for the guys and gals of Toto’s bidet division. With continued support of older bidet models, nothing has happened as far as new washlets or washlet technology popping up on the scene.

However, this isn’t a bad thing. Toto’s lineup of bidets is already stellar, with a bidet to fit any budget and bum.

Here are the best bidets you can buy from Toto in 2018.

In Q1, the Toto C100 still ranks as the best budget bidet you can buy.

Check out the current price of this bad boy here.

It all comes down to the exhaustive features list that truly boggles the mind when you compare it to the price tag.

Of course, it has all the standard features found on any budget bidet worth its salt, such as heated seats, heated water, an eco mode, adjustable nozzle positions and pressure and a self cleaning wand.

That’s where a sane person would assume the features stop.

But they don’t stop.

Toto somehow packs a warm air dryer and a deodorizer into this beast.

It’s as if TOTO wants to gaslight everyone who is interested in buying the C100, the price to performance ratio is just so good, it’s absolutely insane.

You can find models in both the round and elongated sizes, too, so any bowl can become a powerhouse of anal cleaning.

Check out our full review of the Toto C100 here

And for those who are SUPER curious, also see how it compares to the TOTO C200 here

On the other end of the spectrum is Toto’s S550e with eWater+.

Head on over to Amazon to see the current price of the S550e here

This bathroom behemoth comes packed to the brim with features.

In addition to everything the C100 has, the S550e features the use of eWater+ which is electrolyzed water that acts as a surprisingly able disinfectant.

See our review of the S550e here

The S550e will squirt that eWater+ all over the bowl before and after each dump session, providing you a much cleaner bowl -without you having to break out the disgusting, poo-water soaked toilet bowl cleaner- when compared to washlets that lack this feature.

The washlet also features a very suave looking remote, a night light and an auto open and close lid.

Besides the eWater+, the other major difference is the instantaneous water heating that provides endless, on demand hot water with no exceptions. This allows the bidet to be much thinner than its budget bidet brethren.

This is in contrast to the C100’s tank reservoir system, which will still provides a good deal of warm water, but only until the tank is dry. Consider the S550e if you expect multiple people to be using the toilet in succession.

Some may be wondering what difference is between the S550e and the S350e and if it justifies the leap in price.

The S550e features pulsating and oscillating cleansing modes, whereas the S350e lacks these.

IMHO, oscillation is a MUST. The rapid sweeping of water back and forth removes filth so much better than just a constant spray in the same spot. Think about how you clean anything with a hose – your car, deck, dog, kids, etc. You sweep that mother back and forth.

The pulsating spray is also extremely nice to have (especially for us poor folks with a lack of fiber in our diets) as it can help with constipation better than a traditional spray. This feature isn’t as necessary as oscillation, but it’s a wonderful addition to have.

Oh, it also features a much more attractive lid.

All of these features are worth the price difference.

Overall, the S550e is the best washlet that TOTO currently offers, and also one of the best bidet seats available for purchase from any brand.

BioBidet BB1000 vs. BB2000. A closer look.

February 6, 2018 by @elioverbey

Ahhhh, BioBidet.

One of the top contenders in the fight to be recognized as the major player in the battle of the bidets.

Along with the likes of TOTO, Brondell, Novita and others, BioBidet is one of the most prominent manufacturers of bidets – both electric and mechanical – and consistently makes innovative, quality bidets.

Two bidets from BioBidet have left lots of people wondering which one provides the best value: the BB1000 and BB2000.

See the current price for the BB1000 and BB2000.

Bottom Line Up Front

To save you a smidge of time, I’ll give you the verdict right off the bat:

The BB2000 is a clear winner in every category. The looks, features and value provided are leagues ahead of the BB1000.

While some of the BB2000’s features aren’t revolutionary, the whole suite is simply a much better package than what you’d get with the BB1000.

Unless you’re truly strapped for cash and have a surprising fondness for the appearance of the BB1000, the BB2000 is definitely the way to go.

Read on to see for yourself how we’ve come to this conclusion.

Major Differences

To make the arduous task of selecting the proper poop-chute shiner a bit more bearable, we’ll start off with the major differences between these titans of tush cleaning.

The Look

The BB1000’s remote (top) looks like an outdated relic compared with the BB2000’s refined lines (bottom).

In my opinion, BioBidet have really missed the mark with the BB1000.

It has been compared to a “medical device fit for a retirement home” and honestly, I agree.

It’s big, bulky, sterile-looking (in a repulsive, hospital kinda way) and so far from sexy that giving it an Ed Hardy sleeveless T-shirt and slathering it in hair gel couldn’t make it look worse.

Even the remote for the BB2000 (you can choose either black or white) looks sleeker and more modern.

The BB2000 however, while not a feast for the eyes, is much more pleasant to behold.

With some nice curves and a slimmer profile due to its lack of a water heating reservoir, the BB2000 is a bidet seat fit for most toilets.

Instantaneous Heating

Besides the look (and majorly contributing it) of the two bidets, the second major difference between them is the BB2000’s instantaneous heating system versus the BB1000’s reservoir heating system.

When it comes to actually using these two systems, you probably won’t notice much of a difference.

The BB1000 has ample water to clean your rear – unless you expect multiple people to be using the seat in quick succession. In that case, the latter users may get the shaft as whoever got in there first has most likely used a good deal of the warm water already.

The BB2000 doesn’t encounter this problem as its water is heated instantly and continuously. Feel euphoric as infinite amounts of warm water caress your ass.

Stainless Steel Nozzle

The BB2000’s stainless steel nozzle is easier to clean and more hygienic.

The BB2000 has a stainless steel nozzle and the BB1000 does not.

In my opinion, a stainless steel nozzle is a feature that any bidet I’m going to buy should have.

Stainless steel is more durable, looks better, is easier to clean and is a more hostile environment for bacteria, viruses and fungi.

Hydro Flush

Cleaning from the inside out, BioBidet claims the BB2000 offers superior hygiene, although the jury is still out on if that’s entirely true.

The BB2000 has this feature, the BB1000 does not. What it is refers to the way the nozzle of the BB2000 is cleaned by blasting water through the nozzle from the inside-out to more thoroughly sterilize it.

This is opposed to the way most other bidets simply run water over the outside of the nozzle to remove any nasty lil-bits that may have found their way onto the nozz.

Now, whether this is actually going to increase the cleanliness of your dump sessions is still up for debate as other bidets without this feature have been sufficiently cleaning asses for many many years without issue.

The bottom line on this feature is: if it makes you feel more comfortable knowing the inside of the nozzle can be cleaned at will, BioBidet’s Hydro Flush feature may be worth it for you.

Belted Nozzle Cleaning

The motorized nozzles on the BB2000 are able to move more precisely and more quickly than other bidet nozzles.

Basically, this means they can quickly shimmy in and out as the outside is being cleaned with water to more throughly remove anything on the outside of the nozzle.

The motor operated nozzle is also able to be more precisely adjusted than other nozzles, although how much this is going to affect your morning session is up for you to decide.

Most bidets have several positions for the wand/nozzle to allow for a customized fit for each user. BioBidet’s motorized nozzle technology on the BB2000 allows for much smaller and more precise adjustments.

If you are unable to shimmy your rear a little bit to accommodate one of the BB1000’s preset nozzle positions, the infinitely adjustable BB2000 may be the bidet seat for you.

Night Light

Cool enough to impress any guest.

This is one of the coolest features of the BB2000. Its cool, blue nightlight illuminates a small control panel on the side of the bidet for easy use even in the darkest, windowless bathrooms.

While it may not seem like a game-changer, a night light really makes your bathroom seem more modern as it is bathed in a calming blue light.

Not only is this useful for your late-night sessions, it’s probably the single most impressive feature for guests who haven’t experienced anything outside of a vanilla toilet.

At the end of the day, it should be obvious to most that the BB2000 is ultimately the better bidet.

As a bidet is a serious investment of money, you really shouldn’t settle for something unless you’re completely satisfied with the features provided.

If all you want is a bum-gun, there are plenty of other, cheaper bidets that fit the bill. Head on over to our reviews of the TOTO C100 and the Novita Slimline for our favorite budget bidets.

If you’re looking for a premium bidet, the BB2000 is a decent offering from BioBidet.

Also, take a peek at our favorite bidets from last year.

Which Bidet Seat / Washlet is the Best in 2018?

August 29, 2017 by @elioverbey

2017 has faded into yesteryear and we are finally warming up into the spring of 2018, but many of last year’s best bidets are still just that… The best bidets.

Take a look at what reigned supreme last year in these two categories:

Best Overall

Best Bang For Your Buck.

Best Bidets 2018

These bidets are the premium, no holds barred whizzes that will vie with your children and pets for attention. These beasts not only tickle the fancies of premium gadget-lovers, but also those who have an affinity for strong construction and high quality materials.

Brondell Swash 1400

First things first, who is this bidet for?

This bidet suits couples and families who are willing to spend a fair amount for a durable, attractive bidet that should last many many years.

It covers all the bases when it comes to multi-user usage – a rear and (improved from the Swash 1000) feminine wand as well as an auto wash and dry mode that is great for kids.

This bidet is also perfect for those who simply want the best, no matter the expense. Brondell is a very well regarded company and this is their flagship bidet seat that compromises on very little.

Brondell has been in the Game of Bidets since 2003 and has consistently been one of the top manufacturers of washlets in the United States. With their new Swash 1400 bidet seat, Brondell have proven why they are held in such high regard among us bidetophiles (there are dozens of us!).

Biscuit on the left, white on the right.

Designed with North American toilets in mind, the Swash 1400 should fit nearly any elongated or round toilet in the USA in terms of size, shape and color (it comes in both white and an off-white cutely labeled as ‘biscuit’).

Its smooth, contoured lines help the 1400 beautifully pair with any toilet and any bathroom.

In addition, the power cord and hose can be hidden away in a compartment in the rear of the seat, which will keep your bathroom from looking like the elastic jungle in Nickelodeon’s GUTS.

Along with its extremely sexy looks, the Swash 1400 packs an incredible features list that has nearly everything a bidet seat could possibly have.

It sports:

Two stainless steel wands (for both posterior and feminine cleansing) that resist corrosion, bacteria and virus contamination.

Adjustable spray width that allows a concentrated stream for those extra clingy peanut butter episodes to a much wider spray for gentle cleaning of a larger area and also a setting between the two for that Goldilocks in the family. This is a very impressive feature and a remarkable piece of engineering.

An easily replaceable and surprisingly effective deodorizer whisk the smells of last night’s digested lasagna through an activated carbon filter, providing astoundingly breathable air. This is a major upgrade from the older Swash 1000 model which didn’t allow for user replacement of the filter.

A warm air dryer for a completely hands-off, butt-cleaning experience.

A blue night light to help you find the pot in the middle of the night.

Programmable settings for up to two users to eliminate having to adjust the settings to your liking after Uncle John messed them all up when he had his morning BM. There is also an “auto” mode which will run through a full cleaning and drying cycle so anyone can easily experience the splendor of a completely clean tooter.

Remote control and magnetic docking station keeps your remote control easily accessible.

Ceramic core heating system allows for instant and unlimited warm/hot water. This system is remarkably effective and outclasses most other on-demand heating systems available from other brands.

The only gripe I have with this bidet seat is the lack of a pulsating spray feature (great for relief of constipation).

All in all, this bidet sets the bar at a lofty height and ticks nearly all the boxes any great bidet should be striving to fill. It’s built with quality materials and sounds construction, the features are all useful and lastly, it looks absolutely fantastic on any toilet.

TOTO Washlet S350e

First things first, who is this bidet for?

This is the perfect bidet for those who want a more automated, smart-toilet experience. Features such as the auto open/close lid and the ewater+ bowl misting (essentially cleans your toilet bowl periodically throughout the day) truly project the feeling of living in the future.

The S350 is absolutely packed to the rim with technology fit to impress Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. It is truly the Tesla of Toilets.

Much like the Brondell, the S350 suits multiple user households, however it isn’t quite as child friendly as the Brondell with no auto wash/dry cycle button. If you have young children and want them initiated into the Bidet Club, then the S350 might make it a smidge more difficult.

Once again, this bidet is for those who want the absolute best in class when it comes to bidets. The TOTO S350 even outclasses the Brondell in the sheer volume of features. Read on and decide for yourself if they’re worth it.

It’s just so slim!

TOTO is probably the name most people think of when electronic bidet seats or washlets are mentioned. As a matter of fact, TOTO coined the term “washlet” in 1980 and has sold 30 million of them since.

Unlike the Brondell Swash 1400, the TOTO S350 hasn’t been designed with the North American bathroom in mind.

However, don’t let that deter you, as toilet sizes/shapes as well as connections are pretty universal and the S350 is available in both round and elongated versions (the “e” in the S350e stands for the elongated version).

This washlet is slim and somehow houses all of its tricks inside a shell only 3.9 inches high.

While (in my opinion) not as stylish as the Brondell, the TOTO does just as good of a job at keeping your bathroom looking neat and tidy, with both water and electric attachments coming from the right side of the washlet, allowing for easy cable management.

Now, on to the MASSIVE features list. Hold onto yer butts.

It sports:

One adjustable plastic wand which may seem like a huge step down from the Brondell’s two stainless steel nozzles (which I prefer), but TOTO’s inclusion of an advanced water electrolysis system makes up for it (more on that, later!).

The soft exterior night-light is visible on the left side of the unit.

ewater+ water electrolysis system creates electrolysed water which, according to Wikipedia is “a known cleanser and disinfectant / sanitizer.” This water is used to spray both your bowl and the plastic nozzle, cleaning much more effectively than standard tap water.

Automatic open/close lid will allow for a completely hands-free experience and is just pretty damn futuristic when you actually experience it. It’s as if the toilet has been waiting excitedly for you to mount and make your daily doody deposit. For those of us that pee whilst standing, a button on the top of the remote can also raise the seat.

Wider “Soft Rear Cleanse” option which widens the spray to provide a less direct, more soothing spray for sensitive heinies.

A night light built into the side of the toilet will illuminate the area to the left of the toilet as well as the bowl, like the Brondell. The soft light on the side is actually quite useful and gives the TOTO the edge over the Swash 1400 in this category.

Programmable settings for up to two users – just like the Brondell.

Remote control which features a very basic (in a good way) front panel with the most frequently used options – front and rear cleanse, dryer and the stop button. On the sides are buttons to control the pressure, wand position and to toggle the oscillating and pulsating features. The back of the remote has a somewhat old-school LCD panel for controlling temperature (water and dryer), adjusting the lighting options and creating user profiles.

The deodorizer will keep your bathroom smelling less crappy. While not quite as effective as the Brondell’s, you don’t need to replace it as often and can simply clean the filter occasionally.

On demand hot water much like the Brondell. Water is not stored and heated in a reservoir, but instantly heated as it passes from your water supply, through the unit to bathe your bum in perfectly warm water every time you use it.

Bowl premist uses the ewater+ to mist the bowl when you sit down to grease up the bowl to prevent unsightly poo-stains. The unit also sprays after each use and intermittently throughout the day to keep it noticeably cleaner. This is about as close as you’re going to get to a mini Roomba (Poomba, anyone?) that cleans your toilet bowl.

A warm air dryer. Does what is says…eventually. Like most bidet seats, the dryer is essentially a slightly better bathroom hand dryer, so don’t expect a bone-dry ass in fewer than two or three minutes.

With every conceivable feature packed into one of the smallest electric bidets on the market, the only issue with the TOTO S350 is it’s price. If that doesn’t bother you and you’re in the market for an electric bidet seat, then you better hurry up and buy this thing because you will certainly get what you paid for.

Best Budget Bidets 2018

These are the Honda Civics of bidets. They balance price to performance by sacrificing some of the bells and whistles of their more expensive counterparts. For most users, you probably won’t need more than what these wonderful bidets have to offer.

Novita Slimline BN-330

First things first, who is this bidet for?

This bidet seat packs many of the features of more pricey models (including on-demand heated water!!!) for less than half the price. It’s also quite attractive for its price point as well as slim (who woulda guessed with a name like that).

The major missing feature here would be a deodorizer, so, if that doesn’t bug you and you simply want a bidet that cleans your ass and cleans it well, consider the Novita Slimline.

Novita is a a subsidiary of Kohler, whom you may have heard of. Novita is one of South Korea’s leading bidet manufacturers and has a long and established track record dating back to its founding in 1984.

With the Slimline BN-330, Novita has really taken their engineering to another level and have been able to inexpensively create an electric bidet seat which has a very small form factor and includes nearly all the key features of much more expensive bidets.

Lacking a remote (the bidet is controlled with an attached side panel, instead) and a deodorizer, this bidet has cut a few corners to bring you the best butt-blasting experience for a bargain price.

Read on to see what features you get with the Novita Slimline.

It sports:

Two stainless steel wands is an impressive package for a bargain bidet to come packing. Seperate nozzles for rear and frontal cleansing make sure that each area gets that nice does of TLC that it deserves.

Instantaneous heating system provides warm water on demand and doesn’t ever run out, unlike a reservoir system which might come up short in multi-user households. I feel like it is worth noting that most other bidets in this price range feature a tank-reservoir system and Novita is really giving users a wonderful feature for such a low cost.

A warm air dryer is another nice feature that many budget-friendly bidets lack. Although, as always, don’t expect it to blow you away and prepare to wait a little while if you want a truly TP-less experience.

Strong, sit-able lid gives peace-of-mind to those who often find themselves seated on the lid applying those final touches of makeup, drying their hair or whatever else.

Oscillation and aeration make for a very pleasant cleaning experience. The oscillating nozzles can cover a larger area and more easily provide that spotless butt that we’ve all been seeking. The aerated water gives the stream a more gentle feeling with less splash and splatter.

Feast your eyes on those smooth lines.

For what it costs, the Novita Slimline provides such a huge value that it’s almost impossible for a beginner bidet-er to pass up. The instantaneous hot water and the Novita’s striking appearance are the two best features and are already close to covering the cost of admission. Don’t forget to check out our full review of the Novita Slimline!

TOTO Washlet C100

First things first, who is this bidet for?

Oh boy, this bidet is for almost anyone.

Really, this thing is just great and is a legend in the world of bidets.

Get this bidet if you want all the features of a much more expensive bidet minus instantaneous heating. If you live in a house where multiple people use the toilet in quick succession, then the tank-heating might be an issue, but if you have a small number of people in your home, then this bidet could fulfill all your wildest toilet fantasies.

Once again, TOTO brings another titan into the neverending battle of the bidets. With all its years of experience designing and manufacturing bidets, TOTO has been able to somehow slip so many features into this bad boy that it’ll blow your freaking mind.

Containing everything but instantaneous water heating, the TOTO C100 gives other bidets in higher price ranges a serious run for their money.

This is another remote-less bidet seat, opting instead for a connected side panel. This might turn a few people off, but in all honesty, I really like the look of it on this TOTO.

It really makes you feel like you’re in a futuristic Tokyo restroom taking the best dump of your life.

Here are all the features this jack-of-all-trades bidet dude brings to the table.

It sports:

One plastic wand nozzle which can clean both front and rear areas effectively due to its multiple nozzles.

Tank-reservoir heating system utilizes a large tank to hold and heat water – even when you aren’t using the toilet – so that you will, in most cases, have a decent supply of warm water ready to go.

In special circumstances (house-wide food poisoning, anyone?) where there is a mad run on the bathroom, the tank might deplete it’s warm water supply under heavy use.

In this case, you might have to deal with some lukewarm or even chilly water. Barring acts of God like that, however, the C100 should have sufficient hot water.

A warm air dryer is packed into the rear of the seat and does just as well as more expensive bidets at completely drying you off sometime before your 100th birthday.

A deodorizer has also found a home in the C100. Somehow, the brains at TOTO found a way to squash both a dryer and deodorizer into this absurdly cheap bidet.

Premist bowl-spraying just like its more expensive siblings. The premist does a surprisingly good job of keeping the toilet clean and I think it’s a very worthwhile feature.

Oscillating cleanse. Like nearly all bidet seats, the TOTO C100 has an oscillating cleaning function to sweep the area with water to fully blast any and all nooks and crannies where turds may be trying to hide.

With high-end features like a dryer, deodorizer and a pre-mist function, the TOTO C100 clearly punches well above its weight. Once again, the only thing holding it back is the lack of an on-demand water heating system, but that shouldn’t be an issue in most cases. Read our TOTO C100 Review and our TOTO C100 vs. the TOTO C200 Head to Head.

All in all, there are many many bidets out there, and they’re all competing for your hard earned cash. I hope this guide will help you narrow down your choices to the electric bidets that I believe outrank the rest in their respective categories. Hopefully now you have a bit more confidence in selecting a bidet so that you can ditch the TP and toilet seat and start pooping like a king.

As always, comments are very appreciated. Any bidet you’d like to see reviewed or do you think a different bidet should occupy one of these spots?

Let me know, I’d love to heard from you.

Cheers, and happy bidet-ing.

If you’re more interested in bidet attachments, come see our list of the best of the bunch.