TOTO S350/S550 Review

May 29, 2018 by @elioverbey

To our readers: The TOTO S350 is being discontinued shortly and will be replaced with the TOTO S550. Both bidets come with all the same features, although the S550 has had a redesign (which I love) of both the washlet and the remote. There have also been some slight changes under the hood, which I’ll get to later in the review. As far as features go, however, you can consider this review applicable to both bidet models.

The King of Bidets? Bow to the TOTO S550.

TOTO know a thing or two about making bidet toilet seats. They coined the term “washlet” and were one of the first companies to start making electronic bidet seats which allow any toilet to evolve into a wondrous, ass-polishing throne.

The TOTO S550 is TOTO’s newest and most feature-packed bidet seat.

Having been in the bidet scene since its inception, TOTO have been steadily reworking their bidets to continually be at the forefront of bidet technology and trends.

Before we get into anything else, let’s take a peek a what’s going to immediately jump out as one of the more unique features of the S550: its Ewater+.

See up-to-the-minute pricing HERE.

What is Ewater+ and how does it set the S550 apart from other bidet seats?

Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which acts as a very effective cleaning and disinfecting solution. According to Wikipedia, electrolyzed water is water which has had an electric current run through it. Doing this produces a solution of hypochlorous acid and sodium hydroxide, which is apparently great at cleaning poo from toilet bowls.

The TOTO S550 will spray the bowl with a mist of Ewater+ as soon as you sit down as well as once you get up. In practice, this keeps your bowl lookin cool, clean, and absent of little poop dudes. Thank god for not having to reach for the dirty toilet bowl scrubber.

Also, the TOTO S550 will use this Ewater+ to clean the nozzle before and after each use. Talk about clean!

Note: this solution is NOT used for cleaning YOU. Just the toilet bowl and nozzle.

Next up on features unique to the TOTO S550 is its auto open and close lid.

This might not immediately seem like a feature that makes you think “Huh, I NEED that!” but after seeing it in action, I promise you, your mind is gonna change.

The auto-open and close of the TOTO S550 makes you feel like royalty as the seat invites you to take a seat, take a load off, drop a deuce, etc.

This is the last step in making the ancient human process of poopin’ totally hands-free. No need to touch the seat, no need to wipe, no need to dry.

Be confident that your phone most certainly WON’T be giving you pink-eye as long as the kids don’t get ahold of it.

Now, some have complained in the past about the S350’s auto open and close being a bit too sensitive and opening when someone simply walked past the bathroom. The S550 has fixed this issue by making the sensor a little less sensitive and now opens only when you approach the front of your throne.

The TOTO S550 can be programmed to open the lid, or both the lid and seat automatically when you approach. Also, if you’re a dude and only the lid opens and you don’t plan on taking a seat, a simple press on the remote can lift the seat as well. This works in the opposite way as well, so the ladies can put just the seat down if both seat and lid are both left open.

The S550’s nightlight. Not your typical glowing blue bowl.

The TOTO S550's nightlight emits a soft glow around your toilet.

Let there be light!

I should start this section by admitting that I love a glowing blue toilet bowl. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the feeling of being a futuristic Blade Runner about to “eliminate some replicants” (poop) or what, but those glowing blues just GET ME.

Despite all that, I love the S550’s nightlight. It’s miles more practical than a glowing blue bowl, as it softly illuminates the area around the toilet.

Ok, how about the actual bidet features?

Well, in addition to the above features which are quite unique to the TOTO S550, this washlet also packs top-of-the-line cleaning and comfort features.

The bidet feature itself is totally customizable in terms of pressure, position and temperature.

It also has a pulsating mode, oscillating mode and the option to switch the feminine cleansing from a narrow to a wide spray.

Also, the S550 packs one of the most effective warm air dryers around. Like we said earlier, this helps provide a totally hands-free experience.

The new, slim remote

All of these functions work as you’d imagine – they get you clean and transform your daily booty-duty into an almost too-relaxing spa-like visit.

Now, TOTO has also made sure to make the use of the S550 as comfortable as possible.

Heated seats, a deodorizer and instantaneously heated water (no bulky, slow-heating reservoir here) make the S550 so comfortable and satisfying to use, you’re never going to want to leave your throne.

How is this thing different from the S350?

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

Glad you asked!

Perhaps the most striking difference is in appearance.

TOTO have given the S550 the option to be purchased in either the classic or contemporary style.

I much prefer the contemporary style, although your mileage may vary.

Also changed was the remote. TOTO has made a much slimmer, easier to hold design.

As mentioned earlier, the internal sensors controlling the auto-open and close feature have been tweaked as to not be as sensitive as they were in the S350. This works quite well and cuts down on unintentional openings of the lid/seat.

In addition, TOTO have done what they can to make the unit more energy efficient and better performing. The heated seats will heat up significantly faster than those on the S350 and use less power in doing so.

In the end, the TOTO S550 is the best bidet by the best bidet company in the world. If you truly want the best of the best, this is it.

An exceptionally clean, autonomous, customized cleaning experience each and every time you use it.

I’ll leave you with this: Imagine waking up, the clock reads an annoying 5:25. You need to go. You get out of your cozy bed and make the short trek to the bathroom. The walls are softly illuminated by the TOTO’s ever vigilant nightlight as the room is still dark in its predawn mystery. The lid lifts itself up as you get near and you can almost hear it whisper “come hither, let go of the past”.

As the lid completes its ascent skyward, you sense exaltation in the air (or maybe it’s the Ewater+ premist?), an electric feeling runs down your spine. “Ah, hello again” you think to yourself.

You gaze into the completely white bowl and catch a glimpse of your reflection in the softly rippling water as the premist gently runs down the sides of the bowl, bringing with it a promise of eternal sanitation. You come to realize you are a living, sovereign entity which has agency and the ability to change the world around you.

Finally, you sit. The seat is warm, comforting, bringing the same womb-like calm and security as sleeping in the fetal position covered in down blankets on a crisp autumn night.

True, by Spandau Ballet starts playing… or does it? Is it all in your head? Nevermind.

You poop.

The deodorizer has been faintly, tenderly whirring since you took your seat, banishing your regrets and insecurities into the void of the vast, endless universe.

Feeling a sense of enormous well-being, you reach for the remote, “My scepter” you think, giggling quietly to yourself.

“Initiate cleaning” you whisper to no one as you press User Profile #1. The TOTO S550 doesn’t judge.

Warm water greets you. The oscillation function starts, adding its own reserved mechanical melody to the symphony of dripping water and the deodorizer’s indefatigable hum.

As the process nears its conclusion, you think about everything you’ve done to get here. Everthing we’ve done. Humanity. Life. Existence.

In the 13.7 billion year history of the universe, you exist at this moment. Less than a flash, shorter than an instant. This slice of reality is yours and you inhabit it fully although you sometimes waver about its importance; but in this moment you’re sure it has meaning.

The dryer turns on and strongly but oh-so-lightly pulls you back into the bathroom.

The warm air, grandma’s flower garden in the last month of summer.

You feel clean. Not only physically. You’re clean, you’re clean.

You regain your feet and head back to the bedroom. You look back, unsure why. You hear the deodorizer start its lazy return to “off”, accompanied by the familiar and satisfying hydraulic squirt and gurgle of the Ewater+ misting the bowl; ever cleaning, ever protecting.

As you slide back into bed to get that useless hour more of sleep, you feel the sheets regaining their warmth. It’s pleasant. Your eyes close with purpose only to open an hour later.

Somehow you don’t feel tired like you knew you would. You feel alive.

Luxe Bidet Neo 110 Review

May 17, 2018 by @elioverbey

Simple Functionality – The Luxe Bide Neo 110

What happens when one of the best bidet attachment makers makes the simplest of bidet attachments while using their signature high quality components and years of experience?

You get the Luxe Bidet Neo 110.

A bidet attachment with only one purpose – clean dat booty.

See how much the Neo 110 is currently going for – up to the minute pricing.

The Neo 110 is a single-nozzle, dial-operated bidet attachment without any other bells or whistles. It simply sprays a solid stream of water at your biscuit factory at a pressure of your choosing.

Luxe Bidet has made this a bidet that could be operated by anyone. Its dial is easy to turn and, and….. well….. that’s it. That’s all there is to it!

Functionality

The simple, one-dimensional operation is a blessing for those of us who don’t care about anything but having a clean butt.

Children, grandparents and bidet novices (guests, amirite?) will all be able to easily enjoy the benefits of a mini team of firefighters with a mini-hose cleaning the dirtiest of dirties (in truth, no miniature firefighters are trapped within the bidet and forced to clean asses for a living – don’t worry).

Like all Luxe Bidets, the nozzle is behind a little protective door and also auto retracts into a small sheath after each use, keeping the experience clean.

The Neo 110 has a protective housing area for its nozzle.

You can see the nozzle’s protective housing here.

Also, like (nearly) all non-electric bidets, the nozzle isn’t directly adjustable, so you will need to do the “lil poopy” which is a very new and very cool dance which mimics the way bidet users must slightly adjust their bums in order to get proper aim with the spray.

Adjusting to the spray is easy and eventually you’ll begin to know before you even turn it on if it’s going to be zeroed-in on the target or not, just by the way you’re sitting.

Installing any bidet attachment is ridiculously easy, and the Neo 110 isn’t any different. Simply take off your toilet seat, slide the attachment in, adjust the sliders, and then reattach your seat.

Viola, you now have a lovely bidet.

Luxe Bidet Neo 185 Elite Series Review

May 15, 2018 by @elioverbey

The Neo 185, available in white or blue.

The Luxe Bide Neo 185 is Luxe Bidet’s entry into dual nozzle territory (along with it’s cousin, the Neo 180).

Dual nozzles provide a way for the ladies in the house to clean their lady parts as well as booties. For the gentlemen reading, you can still use the frontal wash if you want, just don’t blame me for the soggy sac.

In addition to the front cleansing nozzle, the Luxe Bidet Neo 185 is also equipped with Luxe Bidet’s fantastic ceramic core valves and a self cleaning mode, along with the standard bidet function.

Check up to the minute pricing of the fantastic Neo 185 here

How is the Neo 185 different from the Neo 180?

Well, on paper, they have the same specs, but take a quick peek at their pics and you’ll see that the Neo 185 sports a twist dial to control water pressure instead of the Neo 180’s pull-lever.

The Neo 180 (left) with its lever control and the Neo 185 (right) with dial control.

Some people prefer the twist dial because it can be a little more precise when it comes to adjusting water pressure, with a clearly marked ring around the dial. The lever control on the other hand, has no such indication of pressure. Just take your life in your hands and pull that sucker until the desired pressure is reached.

(It should be noted that I prefer the lever control for the sole reason of it feeling like a jet’s throttle instead of a coin operated candy machine. Your preferences are sure to vary, however!)

Functionality

Both sprays are easy to control with the dual-dial design (twist the smaller nozzle left for feminine cleaning, right to activate the nozzle self wash). I found the rear spray to be just about on target, with a few lil scoots and shifts required to achieve full coverage. This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, as bidet attachment makers simply can’t accommodate all shapes and sizes of butts – so, expect to do a little shimmying.

Not having a need for the feminine cleansing mode, I can’t directly comment on it, however my volunteer claimed it was great and the pressure was just enough on the low-medium setting to provide adequate cleaning without the pressure being overwhelming.

Overall, this is a fantastic bidet for anyone looking to make the jump to a two-nozzle system. Solid-feeling and easy to manipulate controls, a self-rinse feature and dual nozzles that function as expected – Luxe Bidet continues to roll out booty-pleasing bidets.

One caveat to this for those in colder climates: there is no hot water function, so if your cold water is extra cold in the winter, be aware that it is this temperature that your nether-regions are going to contend with.

Luxe Bidet: A Quick look

May 8, 2018 by @elioverbey

Luxe Bidet has been on the forefront of bidet attachment production and design since 2008 when they first started in San Francisco.

With their newest bidet line, the Neo series, Luxe Bidet have set their sights on securing their place as one of the top bidet attachment manufacturers.

The Luxe Bidet Neo 320. Look at that sexy lever!

Luxe Bidet has created a line of well-built, simple to use, good looking bidet attachments with a model sure to please everyone.

From the modest Neo 110 (sporting a single nozzle and a cool-water pressure-dial) to the luxurious Neo 320 (dual nozzle, warm or cool water with a lovely lever to control pressure) and everything in-between, Luxe Bidet has done a remarkable job of simplifying the bidet attachment buying process.

What places Luxe Bidet above many of the other affordable bidet attachment makers is their focus on high quality parts.

When you’re first installing a bidet attachment, one of the primal fears that can creep up is that of the unit leaking, flooding your house and drowning your cat.

Most bidet attachment makers have done a decent job of stopping the threat of leaking between the water line and the bidet, and if they haven’t, you can throw some plumbers’ tape on there and most likely be good.

Where other bidet attachments can come apart later down the line though, is the internal valve.

This is essentially the valve that controls how much water is going to come surging out of the bidet and onto/into/around your butt.

Luxe Bidet incorporate high-quality ceramic valves in all of their bidet attachments, making them much less likely to spring a leak while you’re off in Bali for an extended vacation, trying to convince your significant other to try the local cuisine even though they somehow already know they won’t like it.

It’s this kind of commitment to quality that has made me a huge Luxe Bidet fan, even so far as saying the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 is the best bidet attachment available last year.

Anywho, all I ask is that when you look for a bidet attachment, seriously consider Luxe Bidet.

You and your ass won’t regret it.

Brondell Thinline SimpleSpa – Review

November 28, 2017 by @elioverbey

Brondell Thinline SimpleSpa

Ridiculously inexpensive, smartly designed and simply effective.

More photos and the current price.

A quick look at the pros and cons of Brondell's newest bidet attachment.

Pros: ☑ Some of the most durable valves available - no risk of leaking. ☑ Looks fantastic compared to most other bidet attachments. ☑ Thin enough to not cause toilet seat tilt. ☑ Easy installation. ☑ Cheap	Cons: ☒ Only one nozzle means some shifting is required for a feminine cleanse. ☒ Lack of warm water may bother those sensitive to cold water.
Breakdown Features: 7.0 Components: 9.0 Usage: 8.5 Misc: Bonus for its sleek appearance. Total: 8.8	Bottom Line A classic bidet attachment with modern looks. Don't expect to be blown away by its features list and stay away if warm water and feminine cleansings are a must, but Brondell has nailed the basic bidet attachment. You'd be hard pressed to find a comparably sexy and functional bidet at this price point.

First, the basics:

This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
There is one nozzle for posterior cleaning.
It has a manual nozzle cleaning function.
It houses the nozzle behind a guard piece to keep it clean and sanitary for each use.
The nozzle automatically retracts after you finish using it.
Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
It will fit virtually almost all two-piece toilets.
It comes in white only.
You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
The water pressure is controlled by twisting a knob.
- Twist right for rear wash, left for nozzle cleaning.
One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

Extremely robust, durable brass and ceramic valves.
- It’s no surprise that Brondell has included a proprietary, high-quality valve in their new Bidet attachment. After being in the industry for so long now, the folks over at Brondell have a good idea of what their customers expect.
A unique silhouette.
- Forgoing the traditional egg-shaped control area of most other bidet attachments, Brondell has followed in the footsteps of GenieBidet and the Tushy by prioritizing the look of the unit – leaving us with a very attractive and distinctive model.
Extremely thin.
- Brondell has made a point of making sure this bidet attachment doesn’t throw off the zen of your bathroom experience in any way by making an attachment that sits very comfortably under the lid of your toilet without that classic bidet attachment tilt you might experience with other bidets.
Easy to install.
- Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install.
- Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet. Brondell uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
An one-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

No warm water option.
- Definitely an issue if you live in colder areas. The icy blast of H2O up the wazoo can be startling at best, an icy terror at worst.
Only one nozzle.
- For men, no issue at all, but for women looking for a more sanitary rear AND frontal cleanse, this could be an issue. Some scooting and shifting around solves the problem, but there are definitely other bidets which may not be quite as sexy, but can deliver frontal and rear cleansing for the same price.

Final Thoughts:

Brondell is upping their bidet attachment game and certainly raising the bar for many of the other companies who’ve been content with the same, tired designs for years now. This bidet would suit those who are looking for an inexpensive, sleek looking bidet. If you don’t mind seasonally chilly water or shifting around a bit to get a proper feminine cleanse, definitely consider the Slimline. If not, consider looking at the GenieBidet for a dual nozzle model (feminine and rear cleansing but trades the warm water feature for sheer sexiness) or the Luxe Neo 320 for a fully featured, if somewhat dated looking attachment.

Check out the Brondell Slimline’s price HERE.

Superior Bidet Supreme Review

May 7, 2017 by @elioverbey

The Superior Bidet Supreme Review

A surprisingly expensive bidet attachment. Does it have the features to justify its steep price?

More photos and the current price.

Pros	Cons
Metal valve construction.	Pricey compared to others
Full-featured.	No innovation or unique qualities.
Easy to operate control panel.

First, the basics:

This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
There are two nozzles; one for posterior cleaning and another for feminine cleaning.
It has a nozzle cleaning function.
Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
It will fit virtually any toilet.
It comes in white with gray accents.
You will need a screwdriver and a wrench to install.
All functions are controlled by turning one of the three dials.
The nozzles automatically retract when the bidet isn’t being used.
There is a splash-guard that blocks both nozzles and their housing from coming into contact with bodily fluids.
Angle of the nozzles can be adjusted by tilting their housing forward or backward.
One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

Metal internal valves.
- Always a pro, for me. Not having to worry about brittle plastic valves shattering like teenage hearts is reassuring and bodes well for a long-lasting product.
Provides all functions expected of a top-tier non-electric bidet.
- There’s nozzle cleaning, hot and cold water and dual nozzles.
Easy operation via control panel.
- Clearly labeled controls and easy to manipulate dials.
Easy to install.
- Installing a bidet-attachment could very well be your first exposure to the world of plumbing. Thankfully, Superior Bidet keeps it simple like most others and shouldn’t be a challenge for anyone without dexterity or strength issues.
- Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet. Superior Bidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
  - An installation video provided by Superior Bidet:
The nozzles automatically extend and retract and are protected by a splash-guard.
- When you activate the water, the desired nozzle will extend and begin to spray.
- When you stop the flow of water, the nozzle retracts, keeping it clean for the next use.
- The splash-guard blocks the nozzles and their housing from the front and opens like a door so that you can easily access the nozzle itself.
A one-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

Completely standard.
- What I mean by this is that while it functions well and is fairly durable, Superior Bidet has done nothing to set them apart from other bidet attachments.
- This isn’t a big con, but with this bidet attachment costing more than most others, I’d expect some innovation.
Another case of a cold-water plastic t-adapter.
- For the price, Superior Bidet could surely have included two metal t-adapters instead of one.
- A leaky t-adapter can destroy a floor like a fedora can destroy your reputation. Once again, I would recommend not chancing a leak and buying a metal t-adapter along with the bidet.
Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
- This can be slightly uncomfortable as well as a bit unattractive.
- This is inherent in bidet attachments, however. Any other bidet attachment review is going to mention the same problem.
- An easy fix is available, as most home-improvement stores offer toilet seat risers to increase the height of the front of the seat, so that it is level.

Final Thoughts:

Superior Bidet has done a good job of providing a solid, functional bidet that will squirt you with the best of them. Unfortunately, it doesn’t do this in an innovative or elegant way which I would expect for its premium price. I would recommend this bidet for those who like the control panel and color scheme, as everything else is very comparable to other, cheaper bidet attachments.

Check out the Superior Bidet Supreme’s price HERE.

GenieBidet AB-2000 Review

April 30, 2017 by @elioverbey

The GenieBidet AB-2000

A beautiful, thin, unique bidet attachment with functional cold-water front and rear cleanse. GenieBidet raises the bar.

More photos and the current price.

Pros	Cons
Refreshingly unique appearance.	No warm water.
Satisfying knob operation.	Still raises seat back enough to create slight gap between seat and rim.
Thinner than most bidet attachments.	No manual nozzle cleaning option.
Dual nozzles or rear and feminine cleansing.

First, the GenieBidet’s basics:

This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
There are two nozzles; one for posterior cleaning and another for feminine cleaning.
It has an automatic nozzle cleaning function.
Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
It will fit virtually almost all two-piece toilets.
It comes in white only.
You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
The water pressure is controlled by twisting a knob.
- Twist right for feminine cleanse, left for rear wash.
The nozzle automatically retracts after you finish using it.
One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

Solid brass t-adapter and ceramic valves.
- This is something I have come to think of as required in a bidet attachment. GenieBidet are following the trend of providing slightly more costly bidet attachments that have much higher quality.
Striking looks.
- The GenieBidet attachment is so different from other bidets in terms of appearance. It is thinner (about 1/8”) than most others and sports a minimalist knob as the bidet control.
- If you want something that looks nothing like the other, mostly boring bidet attachments, there aren’t many other options.
Easy to install.
- Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install.
- Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet. GenieBidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
Dual nozzles.
- For around $40 at most vendors, the GenieBidet manages to impress with separate nozzles for rear and feminine cleansing.
An one-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

No warm water option.
- The GenieBidet AB-2000 is sleek to a fault. The minimalist design leaves no room for a warm water connection or control.
- Could be an issue in colder areas.
Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
- Despite being the thinnest bidet attachment I’ve seen, there is still a gap that is created after installing, despite GenieBidet advertising the opposite.
- Not a big problem, as toilet seat risers are available and, honestly, the gap created is hardly noticeable once you’ve sat down.

Final Thoughts on the GenieBidet AB-2000:

Buy the GenieBidet toilet seat attachment if your primary concern (besides cleaning your dumper) is appearance. If you’ve looked at numerous other bidet attachments before arriving here, I’m sure you’ve noticed how they all look like siblings. The GenieBidet may lack hot water and a manual cleansing function, but it cleans well and looks fabulous.

Check out the GenieBidet AB-2000’s price HERE.

Luxe Bidet Neo 320 Review

April 28, 2017 by @elioverbey

The Luxe Bidet Neo 320

Hot and cold water, dual nozzles and a lever-action spray. This is a king among bidet attachments.

More photos and the current price.

Pros	Cons
High-quality components	Cold-water t-adapter isn't as good as hot-water metal adapter
Lever feels great
Attractive for a bidet attachment

First, the basics:

This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
There are two nozzles; one for posterior cleaning and another for feminine cleaning.
It has a nozzle cleaning function.
Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
It will fit virtually any toilet.
It comes with blue or white accents.
You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
- Luxe Bidet says that everything required for installation is included, including tools. This means a plastic wrench. You might want a beefier steel one, but the included plastic one serves its purpose for the most part.
The water pressure is controlled by pulling a lever.
The nozzle automatically retracts when the bidet isn’t being used.
There is a splash-guard that blocks the nozzle and its housing from coming into contact with bodily fluids.
- This can easily be opened to allow for cleaning of the nozzles.
Eighteen-month manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

Very durable, high-quality construction.
- With all of Luxe Bidet’s models, you can expect ceramic and metal valves which provide added longevity compared to plastic.
Lever control.
- This could come down to personal preference, but I much prefer a lever to a dial. It’s easier to grasp and use, looks nicer and feels like I’m shifting gears in the Batmobile when I use it.
Easy to install.
- Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install. Here is a video of the process provided by Luxe Bidet.
- Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet. Luxe Bidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
The nozzles automatically extend and retract and are protected by a splash-guard.
- When you activate the water, the desired nozzle will extend and begin to spray.
- When you stop the flow of water, the nozzle retracts, keeping it clean for the next use.
- The splash-guard blocks the nozzles and their housing from the front and opens like a door so that you can easily access the nozzle itself.
An eighteen-month manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

Plastic t-adapter for cold water connection can be very hit or miss.
- A significant number of users reported leaks with the included t-fitting and needed to purchase a replacement.
- Luxe Bidet really need to include two metal adapters instead of one.
- I would recommend not chancing a leak that could destroy your floor if it isn’t caught early enough and buying a metal t-adapter along with the bidet.
Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
- This can be slightly uncomfortable as well as a bit unattractive.
- This is inherent in bidet attachments, however. Any other bidet attachment review is going to mention the same problem.
- An easy fix is available, as most home-improvement stores offer toilet seat risers to increase the height of the front of the seat, so that it is level.

Final Thoughts:

With many shared features of other Luxe Bidet models, the Luxe Neo 320 has built upon a strong foundation. The lever action and hot water connection easily justify the price of the unit when compared to cheaper models. Also, what you’re buying with any Luxe Bidet model is solid construction and the support of an established company that takes customer support seriously. In my opinion, this is the best non-electric bidet attachment you can buy.

Check out the Luxe Neo 320’s price HERE.

The Best Bidet Attachments

April 24, 2017 by @elioverbey

By: Michael Erickson

There is growing competition in the non-electric bidet attachment market. Of course, this is great news for the potential bidet buyer as it yields a plethora of choices all coming in at reasonable prices.

In this rundown, I’ve found that two factors in particular are the most important in deciding which bidet attachment to choose: the durability of the unit and its appearance.

Most bidet attachments feature very similar features besides the two mentioned above. Some swap out one feature for another, but really, most operate in nearly the same way. To cut to the chase, which ones are worth buying and why? Let’s examine three of the best in no particular order.

Luxe Bidet Neo 320

Luxe bidet has made a name for themselves in the bidet attachment arena. They provide not only very functional, attractive bidets, but they do it with high-quality parts that are meant to last.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Luxe Bidet has incorporated their affinity for long-lasting, durable components into the Neo 320, their highest priced model.

Determining factors

High Quality Parts

The Neo 320 uses “high-pressure faucet quality valves with metal/ceramic cores, a metal t-adapter, and a braided steel cold water hose instead of traditional plastic. The hot water hose is made from a durable polyurethane.” For anyone who has purchased other bidets with cheaper, plastic parts and has experienced an issue with leaking, this might be one of the best reasons to give any Luxe Bidet model a chance.

Besides Luxe Bidet’s focus on quality, why choose the Neo 320? A lot of this comes down to geography and personal preference, so take that into consideration.

Other features I love:

Lever activated spraying.
- I prefer a lever to a knob. Pulling on it makes me feel like I’m initializing the thrust on an intergalactic cruiser. It’s also a bit easier to manage and operate than a knob, and is a better pick for those with less dexterous hands.
Hot water option.
- This makes winter in a colder climate SO MUCH MORE BEARABLE!
- Can take a while to heat up, as it uses the same heating as the rest of your household’s water.
  - Tip: run the nozzle cleaning while you wait for the water to heat up (this applies to all the other bidets listed, too!).
Blue/white and white/white color options.
- Depending on the feng shui of your bathroom, one might work better than the other. Take a look here to see both options.
Dual nozzles.
- A great and needed feature for any women considering a non-electric bidet. This provides both a rear wash and feminine wash, each with different spray patterns. The rear wash is more focused and thus has more pressure and can get rid of heavy-duty messes. The feminine wash nozzle has more holes, less pressure and covers a wider area in a more gentle spray.
- Both nozzles are cleaned when the nozzle cleaning feature is used.
- Both nozzles also retract automatically after use.
Nozzle splash-guard.
- A nice feature in all Luxe Bidets. The splash-guard is like a little door that covers both nozzles and further protects them from any nasty fluids or solids (semi-solids and anything in-between). This works in tandem with the automatically retracting nozzles to provide you with a very sanitary experience every time.
18 month warranty/30 day satisfaction guarantee.
- Protect yourself! Luxe Bidet offers a generous warranty with all of their Neo bidets.
- The 30 day satisfaction guarantee is great, as some people may find they prefer a different type of bidet, or no bidet at all (shocking, but it happens). Send it back, no questions asked!

The Neo 320 is a very nice bidet attachment for its modest price. All these features for less than $100 at most retailers is a steal. The improvement in your toileting experience as well as the toilet paper saved are well worth the price. If you live in a hot climate, check out the Neo 180 instead. All the same features minus hot water.

GenieBidet AB-2000

GenieBidet are a fairly new name in the butt-spraying game, only having started in 2015. However, they have done a great job of redefining what a bidet attachment can be, in terms of appearance. Instead of a traditional, somewhat blah-looking control panel, GenieBidet have made innovative design changes to bring you a modern, sexy and functional bidet sprayer.

Determining factors

The look

As I very subtly hinted at above, GenieBidet have made some very exciting advances in non-electric bidet design. This is so refreshing, as it seems nearly every bidet attachment is a variation on three or four different designs. Visual appeal is a very important aspect of a product that many people seek out, but has been seemingly ignored in the world of bidet attachments.

Finally, you can get a bidet attachment that will impress your friends eyes as well as their patooties.

Other features I love:

Dual nozzles.
- By turning the knob of the GenieBidet one way or the other, the nozzle for rear or feminine cleaning will deploy.
Brass and ceramic valves and connectors.
- Once again, other bidet companies need to take note: plastic components just aren’t durable enough!
Thin enough to reduce the “bidet attachment gap”.
- Most bidet attachments will create a gap between the seat and toilet rim due to the unit raising the back of the seat up a couple of centimeters.
- The GenieBidet will, in most cases, still create a gap, but it is smaller than with most others.
Self cleaning nozzles.
- When the nozzles retract, they will be automatically cleaned by being doused in water.
One-year warranty.

Now, you might be thinking that this bidet is lacking in features compared to the others, but I’m not including it on this list for its features. Seeing endless clones of bidet attachments is such a downer and it was invigorating to finally see a company innovate the stale designs that are so commonplace in the market. GenieBidet not only provides a sultry little product, they provide one that is solidly built and works very well.

Superior Bidet Supreme

Superior Bidet is another company that has, thankfully, focused on using high-quality materials for the manufacture of their products. Their bidets use metal valves, so you won’t have to worry too much about the internals breaking down over time.

Much like Luxe Bidet, they’ve made and sold numerous models and have gotten lots of feedback, which they are quite good at responding to.

Determining factors

Quality construction

Superior Bidet have done a good job of making reliable, durable bidets with strong components. The metal valves and strong online presence/customer care and feedback set them ahead of other, comparable brands that didn’t make the list. Their solid bidets also look great, with chrome plated dials and an inoffensive color scheme that should match up with most bathroom’s decor.

Other features I love:

Dual nozzles.
- Once again, a must for female or mixed living situations. The nozzles are very similar to those in the Neo 320, with a more concentrated blast coming from the rear wash nozzle and a wider, softer wash from the feminine wash nozzle.
- Manual nozzle cleaning function.
  - Keeps things clean and sanitary for every use.
  - It’s nice to be able to control when and how much you’d like to clean the nozzles.
Adjustable nozzle angle.
- By pulling the nozzle housing forward, you can adjust the angle to three different positions. This can help you get just the right angle of attack on the rebels of Uranus.
One-year warranty

Overall, this bidet attachment is a very good buy for the money and could be seen as a good investment for your bathroom as it should last for years and years. While it doesn’t bring anything new to the table, it gets the job done and has the quality construction to edge out most others in its price range. If you prefer a dial to a lever, this is comparable to the Neo 320.

Non-electric bidet attachments are starting to become more and more popular as people in North America are starting to accept the bidet as a convenient tool for hygiene and conservation. I expect this list to change in the coming months as more innovative and attractive bidet attachments (like the GORGEOUS Hyundai Bobslei) start to become bigger sellers and provide a wider test population as to its longevity and function.

Stay tuned!

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 Review

March 31, 2017 by @elioverbey

The Luxe Bidet Neo 120

Luxe Bidet’s most popular model. Does it do enough to stand apart from the competition?

More photos and the current price.

Pros	Cons
Extremely affordable	Plastic t-fitting (piece that connects unit to water supply) may leak
Easy to operate	No warm water option might be tough in colder climates
Ceramic and metal internal valve will outlast plastic
Nozzle protected by splash guard

If you aren’t going route of the electric bidet, the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 is a great entry point.

First, the basics:

This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
It has a bidet feature and a nozzle cleaning feature.
Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
It will fit virtually any toilet.
It comes with blue or white accents.
You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
- Luxe Bidet says that everything required for installation is included, including tools. This means a plastic wrench. You might want a beefier steel one, but the included plastic one serves its purpose for the most part.
All other installation components are included.
The water pressure is controlled by turning a dial.
The nozzle automatically retracts when the bidet isn’t being used.
There is a splash-guard of sorts that blocks the nozzle and its housing from coming into contact with bodily fluids.
Eighteen-month manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

Very affordable.
- A fraction more expensive than the Astor Fresh Water Spray bidet, this falls into the extreme-value category of bidets.
- There are enough additional features to make the slight step up in price from the cheapest bidets worth it.
- The eighteen-month warranty makes this a sound investment.
The bidet function works very well.
- The water pressure is controlled by a dial that is clearly marked. The second dial, beneath, changes the function from bidet use to self cleaning.
- As with all bidet attachments, the nozzle doesn’t adjust its position, so it’s up to you to do that to achieve thorough cleansing.
Easy to install.
- Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install. Here is a video of the process provided by Luxe Bidet.
- Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet. Luxe Bidet uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
The nozzle automatically extends and retracts and is protected by a splash-guard.
- When you activate the water, the nozzle will extend and begin to spray.
- When you stop the flow of water, the nozzle retracts, keeping it clean for the next use.
- The splash-guard blocks the nozzle and housing from the front and opens like a door so that you can easily access the nozzle itself.
Internal valve is made from ceramic and metal.
- This should provide durability that outlasts plastic.
An eighteen-month manufacturer’s warranty.
- Some models (a very small percentage) had issues with inner tubing after several months, resulting in leaks. Having a year-long warranty goes a long way towards taking this from a decent purchase to a great investment.

The Cons:

Plastic t-fitting can be very hit or miss.
- Many users report leaks with the included t-fitting and needed to go back to Amazon and purchase a replacement.
No warm water option.
- Budget bidets, oh how colder climates can make you severely less enjoyable. If you live in the frozen northlands, be warned: the water hitting your sensitive areas will be the same temperature as the ground that houses the pipes.
Raises the back of the toilet seat up, creating a slight forward angle.
- This can be slightly uncomfortable as well as a bit unattractive.
- This is inherent in bidet attachments, however. Any other bidet attachment review is going to mention the same problem.
- An easy fix is available, as most home-improvement stores offer toilet seat risers to increase the height of the front of the seat, so that it is level.

Final Thoughts:

For the price of an extravagant McDonald’s meal more than the cheapest bidet attachments, you can certainly afford to step up from the bottom rung of bidets to the Luxe Neo 120. It looks better than cheaper bidets, its internal components are of higher quality and you get a couple extra worthwhile features (nozzle cleaning and a nifty splash-guard). If you live in a temperate or warm climate (or just don’t mind occasionally chilly water), this is a very nice butt-cleaning companion.

Check out the Luxe Neo 120’s price HERE.