Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid vs. Alpha Bidet GX Wave

January 12, 2020 by @elioverbey

New bidets from a new company. How do they compare?

Alpha Bidet is a relative newcomer to the game with only 5 years on the market and only recently really starting to gain traction with their newest lineup of bidets.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid are the lower and middle tiers respectively of Alpha Bidet’s lineup.

They both polish posteriors, but how do you determine which is the best choice for you?

To compare, let’s look at a few different facets of the bidets at hand:

The cost
Best features
Who is this bidet for?

Let’s start with the lower cost model first, the GX Wave.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and its side panel control.

Cost

The Wave GX comes in at $279 on Alpha Bidet’s website (although Amazon lists it a bit less expensive) a whole $50 cheaper than the iX Hybrid.

Best features

Alpha Bidet packed a worthy boatload of great features into the GX Wave. While not quite the ridiculous bang for buck you get with the TOTO C100 which is more expensive than even the iX Hybrid.

Here they are at a glance:

Stainless steel nozzle – much more hygienic than plastic and longer lasting.
Hybrid water heating system – “never cold” water. It may not stay as hot as you like, but it never actually gets cold, thank God – Northerners know the pain of that icy winter water
Decently powerful dryer – a bit more powerful than the average bidet seat, but still isn’t going to get you 100% dry in a quick minute. Pro-tip: give it a quick pass with toilet paper first to speed that process up.
Oscillating nozzle – for me, this is a huge feature. Instead of having to ride my toilet seat like a regular at the bare-ass underground bull-riding club to get full coverage of the Pookushima Exclusion Zone.
Pulsating cleanse – pulses water for a massaging effect. Really helps those with occasional constipation (but don’t ask me to get into why).
Child wash – goes through a full wash/dry cycle so that the kids can’t exert any artistic freedom with their hygiene.
LED night-light – Some might find this totally uncessary, but I love these. It really makes those late night safaris into the bathroom much more pleasant. More importantly (to me) is that is just makes your toilet seem as if it’s from the future. Yep.
Strong rear wash – this is a separate nozzle from the regular rear wash. It outputs much more water at higher pressure to make sure you absolutely sparkle.
Sittable lid – this lid can support up to 200lbs, so to those who frequently find themselves just sitting in the bathroom, this goes out to you. Also, this is something the iX Hybrid DOESN’T have!
Nails the basics – As with most bidet seats, the basics are hard to mess up. There’s adjustable water pressure, heated seats (adjustable), a feminine nozzle, and a slow-close lid.

Who is this for?

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave is a really good value.

If you’re just dipping your toes into the wondrous world of bidets and have been dreaming of truly clean butts, consider the Alpha Bidet GX Wave.

This can also be a great secondary bidet if you’ve already got one in your primary bathroom and want to spruce up the guest bathroom.

Onto the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid.

The Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid and its remote control.

Cost

At $329 on Alpha Bidet’s website, you will be spending a reasonable premium to upgrade to this more advanced model (again, Amazon has a MUCH less expensive price point for this bad boy).

Best features

Let me start by saying the iX Hybrid has everything the GX Wave does except for the sittable lid and side panel control. If you really like that aesthetic, go for the GX.

What sets the iX Hybrid apart are:

Soft rear wash – an option for a softer, more dispersed stream – this is especially useful for those with painful hemorrhoids.
Blue LED night-light – yes, I think the blue is superior to the white. That’s just me, though.
Remote – this is a personal preference, but there are many who see having a remote as a step-up from a side panel. It can make the toilet more streamlined and prevent you from having to contort your wrist to reach the buttons.
Better water heating – endless warm water versus the “never cold” promise of the GX Wave. This alone may be worth the upgrade!

Who is this bidet for?

While the features that separate the iX Hybrid from the GX Wave aren’t overwhelming, the water heating method and the remote should be enough, in most cases, to convince one to upgrade.

This bidet is for those who want to take a full, first-step into the beautiful land of bidets without having to be quite as budget conscious. This is a great first bidet for a master bathroom.

The Best TOTO Bidets

December 8, 2018 by @elioverbey

TOTO has too many solid bidets to pick only one as the Best TOTO Bidet.

It’s true; these Japanese bidet-smiths have been crafting the finest bidets and toilets in all-the-land for countless centuries (well, since 1917 at least).

To help choose the best TOTO bidet for you, we’ll look at the best of what TOTO has to offer in three categories: best value, best overall, and a wildcard pick.

Let’s hit the floor running with the best value TOTO bidet: The TOTO C100

I’ve gone on and on about how the TOTO C100 is just the best thing ever for those of us with a more frugal approach to bidet buying.

Coming in at around $360 at most retailers, the TOTO C100 packs so much under the lid, it blows my mind every time I think about it.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C100 here.

With premium features that are usually reserved for the $500 and above club, TOTO has created one of the best value bidets. Period.

Those features I’m swooning over include both a deodorizer AND a warm-air dryer. In this price bracket, you can usually choose one, but rarely both.

Another feature I’m in love with and totally surprised to see at this price is a pre-misting function which will coat the bowl with a mist of water as soon as you sit down.

This is especially useful for those of us with eco-friendly low-flow toilets. The lower water level can sometimes lead to some, erm, “evidence” being left behind on the inner bowl after a session. Not with TOTO’s pre-mist!

A short and sweet demonstration of TOTO’s premist function.

There’s also a soft rear cleansing feature which is a more diffuse, gentle spray that is not expected at this price point, but absolutely welcome.

In addition to these incredible top-tier features, you get everything else that one would expect from an electric bidet-seat.

Heated seats, heated water, adjustable temperatures for both, adjustable nozzle position and water pressure as well as an oscillating function for the nozzle which wiggles it back and forth, cleaning a wider area.

Most importantly, it also includes a gentle frontal cleanse for the ladies. If you’re a woman or live with one, this feature is required!

In the end, the TOTO C100 is sure to provide everything needed for someone looking to get their first bidet, or even someone looking to upgrade from an entry level. For something you’re going to use every day, you really can’t go wrong with the Best Value TOTO bidet, the TOTO C100.

Also, check out our review of the TOTO C100 for a more comprehensive analysis.

Next up we’ve got the best overall TOTO bidet: The TOTO S550e.

The contemporary version of the TOTO s550e washlet — The TOTO S550e and its remote.
*drool*

I’ve gushed over this bidet more than any other, and for good reason.

The TOTO S550e ticks every box on the Best Bidet checklist.

It looks beautiful.

It packs in every conceivable feature.

It’s reliable and well constructed.

And for all that it does, is very reasonably priced.

Check the current price of the TOTO S550e here.

Auto opening/closing seat and lid, a warm-air dryer, deodorizer, instantaneously heated water, EWATER+ spray, a sleek remote and all the features you’d expect when it comes to the bidet itself.

While you may be familiar with the features listed above, I’m sure more than a few of you may be left wondering “What the heck is EWATER+?”

Well, it isn’t a gimmick. EWATER+ uses some basic chemistry to keep your toilet clean. The TOTO S550e electrolyzes water, creating a mild acid that aids in cleaning your toilet bowl.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu_3Bjzcljs

A quick peek at what TOTO’s EWATER+ is all about.

This solution is sprayed into your toilet bowl as a mist before and after each visit. In practice, it’s surprisingly effective in saving us from needing to use that nasty toilet brush.

These features and the high degree of quality control TOTO implements with this premium unit, and you’ve got an unparalleled luxury bidet.

To get a fuller idea of why this is the Best TOTO Bidet, check out our review of the TOTO S550e.

Wildcard time, baby! The TOTO C200 – The bidet I really want to write about that just doesn’t fit into a proper category.

The TOTO C200 with remote control operation.

Nearly edging out the TOTO C100 as the king of value, the TOTO C200 comes extremely close to dethroning (pun intended) the C100.

The C200 is about $50 more expensive than the C100.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C200 here.

What do you get for the added expense?

Well, you get a very sexy remote, a pulsating water mode and more settings for water, air and seat temperature (5 vs. 3) .

The remote is wonderful for those with mobility limitations, as sometimes the control panel can be tough to reach. It also lends a more streamlined look to the toilet.

The pulsating water mode is extremely useful for those of us who suffer from the occasional bout of constipation. The gentle pulses are kind of like a massage and will relax the muscles, allowing you to “go” more easily.

If these features are calling out to you, consider the TOTO C200, and also take a peek at our more in-depth article The TOTO C100 vs. The TOTO C200.

KOHLER C-230 Bidet Seat Review.

August 23, 2018 by @elioverbey

A beauty queen with a few screws loose.

The KOHLER C-230 has been called the most lovely of bidet seats, but is it actually a good bidet?

If looks were all that mattered, then I’d forever be single and the KOHLER C-230 would be a required purchase for every bidet seeker. Every time I look at this thing, I’m blown away by its sleek lines and the sexiest attached control panel I’ve seen (not to mention its sultry touchscreen remote).

[Read more…]

TOTO S350/S550 Review

May 29, 2018 by @elioverbey

To our readers: The TOTO S350 is being discontinued shortly and will be replaced with the TOTO S550. Both bidets come with all the same features, although the S550 has had a redesign (which I love) of both the washlet and the remote. There have also been some slight changes under the hood, which I’ll get to later in the review. As far as features go, however, you can consider this review applicable to both bidet models.

The King of Bidets? Bow to the TOTO S550.

TOTO know a thing or two about making bidet toilet seats. They coined the term “washlet” and were one of the first companies to start making electronic bidet seats which allow any toilet to evolve into a wondrous, ass-polishing throne.

The TOTO S550 is TOTO’s newest and most feature-packed bidet seat.

Having been in the bidet scene since its inception, TOTO have been steadily reworking their bidets to continually be at the forefront of bidet technology and trends.

Before we get into anything else, let’s take a peek a what’s going to immediately jump out as one of the more unique features of the S550: its Ewater+.

See up-to-the-minute pricing HERE.

What is Ewater+ and how does it set the S550 apart from other bidet seats?

Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which acts as a very effective cleaning and disinfecting solution. According to Wikipedia, electrolyzed water is water which has had an electric current run through it. Doing this produces a solution of hypochlorous acid and sodium hydroxide, which is apparently great at cleaning poo from toilet bowls.

The TOTO S550 will spray the bowl with a mist of Ewater+ as soon as you sit down as well as once you get up. In practice, this keeps your bowl lookin cool, clean, and absent of little poop dudes. Thank god for not having to reach for the dirty toilet bowl scrubber.

Also, the TOTO S550 will use this Ewater+ to clean the nozzle before and after each use. Talk about clean!

Note: this solution is NOT used for cleaning YOU. Just the toilet bowl and nozzle.

Next up on features unique to the TOTO S550 is its auto open and close lid.

This might not immediately seem like a feature that makes you think “Huh, I NEED that!” but after seeing it in action, I promise you, your mind is gonna change.

The auto-open and close of the TOTO S550 makes you feel like royalty as the seat invites you to take a seat, take a load off, drop a deuce, etc.

This is the last step in making the ancient human process of poopin’ totally hands-free. No need to touch the seat, no need to wipe, no need to dry.

Be confident that your phone most certainly WON’T be giving you pink-eye as long as the kids don’t get ahold of it.

Now, some have complained in the past about the S350’s auto open and close being a bit too sensitive and opening when someone simply walked past the bathroom. The S550 has fixed this issue by making the sensor a little less sensitive and now opens only when you approach the front of your throne.

The TOTO S550 can be programmed to open the lid, or both the lid and seat automatically when you approach. Also, if you’re a dude and only the lid opens and you don’t plan on taking a seat, a simple press on the remote can lift the seat as well. This works in the opposite way as well, so the ladies can put just the seat down if both seat and lid are both left open.

The S550’s nightlight. Not your typical glowing blue bowl.

The TOTO S550's nightlight emits a soft glow around your toilet.

Let there be light!

I should start this section by admitting that I love a glowing blue toilet bowl. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the feeling of being a futuristic Blade Runner about to “eliminate some replicants” (poop) or what, but those glowing blues just GET ME.

Despite all that, I love the S550’s nightlight. It’s miles more practical than a glowing blue bowl, as it softly illuminates the area around the toilet.

Ok, how about the actual bidet features?

Well, in addition to the above features which are quite unique to the TOTO S550, this washlet also packs top-of-the-line cleaning and comfort features.

The bidet feature itself is totally customizable in terms of pressure, position and temperature.

It also has a pulsating mode, oscillating mode and the option to switch the feminine cleansing from a narrow to a wide spray.

Also, the S550 packs one of the most effective warm air dryers around. Like we said earlier, this helps provide a totally hands-free experience.

The new, slim remote

All of these functions work as you’d imagine – they get you clean and transform your daily booty-duty into an almost too-relaxing spa-like visit.

Now, TOTO has also made sure to make the use of the S550 as comfortable as possible.

Heated seats, a deodorizer and instantaneously heated water (no bulky, slow-heating reservoir here) make the S550 so comfortable and satisfying to use, you’re never going to want to leave your throne.

How is this thing different from the S350?

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

Glad you asked!

Perhaps the most striking difference is in appearance.

TOTO have given the S550 the option to be purchased in either the classic or contemporary style.

I much prefer the contemporary style, although your mileage may vary.

Also changed was the remote. TOTO has made a much slimmer, easier to hold design.

As mentioned earlier, the internal sensors controlling the auto-open and close feature have been tweaked as to not be as sensitive as they were in the S350. This works quite well and cuts down on unintentional openings of the lid/seat.

In addition, TOTO have done what they can to make the unit more energy efficient and better performing. The heated seats will heat up significantly faster than those on the S350 and use less power in doing so.

In the end, the TOTO S550 is the best bidet by the best bidet company in the world. If you truly want the best of the best, this is it.

An exceptionally clean, autonomous, customized cleaning experience each and every time you use it.

I’ll leave you with this: Imagine waking up, the clock reads an annoying 5:25. You need to go. You get out of your cozy bed and make the short trek to the bathroom. The walls are softly illuminated by the TOTO’s ever vigilant nightlight as the room is still dark in its predawn mystery. The lid lifts itself up as you get near and you can almost hear it whisper “come hither, let go of the past”.

As the lid completes its ascent skyward, you sense exaltation in the air (or maybe it’s the Ewater+ premist?), an electric feeling runs down your spine. “Ah, hello again” you think to yourself.

You gaze into the completely white bowl and catch a glimpse of your reflection in the softly rippling water as the premist gently runs down the sides of the bowl, bringing with it a promise of eternal sanitation. You come to realize you are a living, sovereign entity which has agency and the ability to change the world around you.

Finally, you sit. The seat is warm, comforting, bringing the same womb-like calm and security as sleeping in the fetal position covered in down blankets on a crisp autumn night.

True, by Spandau Ballet starts playing… or does it? Is it all in your head? Nevermind.

You poop.

The deodorizer has been faintly, tenderly whirring since you took your seat, banishing your regrets and insecurities into the void of the vast, endless universe.

Feeling a sense of enormous well-being, you reach for the remote, “My scepter” you think, giggling quietly to yourself.

“Initiate cleaning” you whisper to no one as you press User Profile #1. The TOTO S550 doesn’t judge.

Warm water greets you. The oscillation function starts, adding its own reserved mechanical melody to the symphony of dripping water and the deodorizer’s indefatigable hum.

As the process nears its conclusion, you think about everything you’ve done to get here. Everthing we’ve done. Humanity. Life. Existence.

In the 13.7 billion year history of the universe, you exist at this moment. Less than a flash, shorter than an instant. This slice of reality is yours and you inhabit it fully although you sometimes waver about its importance; but in this moment you’re sure it has meaning.

The dryer turns on and strongly but oh-so-lightly pulls you back into the bathroom.

The warm air, grandma’s flower garden in the last month of summer.

You feel clean. Not only physically. You’re clean, you’re clean.

You regain your feet and head back to the bedroom. You look back, unsure why. You hear the deodorizer start its lazy return to “off”, accompanied by the familiar and satisfying hydraulic squirt and gurgle of the Ewater+ misting the bowl; ever cleaning, ever protecting.

As you slide back into bed to get that useless hour more of sleep, you feel the sheets regaining their warmth. It’s pleasant. Your eyes close with purpose only to open an hour later.

Somehow you don’t feel tired like you knew you would. You feel alive.

TOTO C200 Review

May 27, 2018 by @elioverbey

How does the TOTO C100’s younger, more tech savvy brother -the TOTO C200- compare?

See up to the minute pricing on the C200 HERE.

The TOTO C200 has a lot in common with TOTO’s king-of-entry-level-bidets, the TOTO C100.

How similar ARE the TOTO C200 and C100?

The features the C200 shares with the C100 are exactly what makes the C100 (and therefore the C200) so great. Features you would never expect in a budget-friendly bidet:

It has an amazing pre-mist function which makes your bowl a slip n slide for turds. No more scraping off lil brownies from the sides of your toilet bowl.

There’s a deodorizer – erases all odorous evidence which makes it perfect for taking a stealthy dump while company is over.

The warm-air dryer allows you to have a totally hands-free experience. That’s right, hands-free. Sit down, do your business, push a button on the remote to clean, push another to dry, voila – you’re done. No reaching down into the shadow realm to poke around a poopy hole above a fetid swamp of poopy water. So much poop being avoided here, it’s really marvelous and my favorite thing about high-end bidets (especially those with budget friendly prices, like the C100/C200).

And of course, the standard bidet wash and the feminine frontal wash with the option to change the stream from wide to narrow, both with adjustable nozzle positions.

So, am I paying more just for the TOTO C200’s remote?

Nearly! But, not quite.

TOTO would (IMHO) be justified to simply pump out the same bidet, change the control panel for a remote and charge more. Other companies have done it (and with a much higher $$$ premium for the simple luxury of having a remote), but TOTO has also added a pulsating/massage cleansing mode AND two custom user profiles to retain the perfect set of parameters for the ultimate booty cleanse every time.

TOTO made the C200 sleeker, sexier, and also more feature-packed than the C100, all for around $60 more than the C100.

Some, ahem, OTHER companies have ONLY added a remote, yet upped the price by $100.

I give serious props to TOTO for their ability to produce a seriously well-built and endlessly functional bidet without giving into the easy temptation to gouge the customer’s wallet.

If you’re looking for the best budget-friendly bidet seat (or washlet, as TOTO calls them) with a remote, look no further than the TOTO C200, the king of sensible washlet upgrades.

The Best Brondell Bidets

April 4, 2018 by @elioverbey

Oh, Brondell. I’d sing an ode to your bidets if I weren’t a bidet disguised as a human who writes about bidets and therefore unable to sing.

Brondell has been in the competitive bathroom scene since 2003 and since then has become one of the most well-know bidet and toilet makers.

Let’s take a lil peek at their best bidets so far in 2020.

Brondell Swash 1400

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

Biscuit on the left, white on the right.

Brondell’s top of the line bidet still ranks as its best. With one of the most beautiful shapes and ominous yet wise looking sensor areas, the Brondell Swash 1400 is one of the best looking bidets around.

In fact, I love this bidet so much, they used to call me Big Swash Dude or BROdell back in high school.

The reasons I love the Swash 1400 bidet are two-fold.

First, and most obviously, are the features

The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.

There are all the features one could expect of a high-end bidet and even a few more.

For example, the Brondell Swash 1400 lets you control the width of the spray – meaning that you can choose from a concentrated, narrow spray to a wide, softer spray.

There is also a little dash of sci-fi in the nozzle. It is sterilized by silver nano-particles which literally rip bacteria and viruses apart. Intense. Metal.

The dryer is quite effective, as is the deodorizer – which, thank God, can be replaced easily, as needed.

Oh! And I almost forgot to mention the two programmable user settings.

The Swash 1400 certainly makes it pretty darn easy to clean yer ass.

The second reason the Swash 1400 bidet reigns supreme is its looks.

I’m a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.

While it isn’t doing anything necessarily mind-blowing/avant garde (nobody is asking for an avant garde bidet…yet), it checks all the right boxes as far as style goes.

Resembling other bidets in Brondell’s lineup, the Swash 1400 has sexy lines, and a hinge that frames the area which houses the guts that make this bidet tick.

The shape of the seat conforms nicely to most any batoot, and the hidden rear pocket stows away the unsightly power cables and water lines, leading to a sleek, minimal look.

Speaking of sleek and minimal, the Swash 1400 is thin, due mostly to its use of a ceramic core heating system which instantly heats water on-demand and forgoes the need for a large water reservoir system.

When push comes to shove, the Brondell Swash 1400 is the best bidet easily available in the USA. I’m a huge fan.

Next up is actually a very similar bidet, but in the neighborhood of $200 less.

Brondell Swash 1000

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

The Brondell Swash 1000 is quite similar to the Brondell Swash 1400. They both share a ceramic core instant water heating system, oscillating dual nozzles with silver nanoparticle sterilization, a warm air dryer and a deodorizer.

If these features sound good enough, then, hey, my job is done and you can just go ahead and buy that butt buffer.

If you need a little more convincing, read on.

The features on the Brondell Swash 1000 toss it right up into the “super ultra luxury bidet” category.

As mentioned earlier, the Swash 1000 has instantaneously heated water, a warm air dryer, two stainless steel nozzles which tear bacteria and viruses apart with badass silver nanoparticles, and a deodorizer.

What The Swash 1000 lacks versus the Swash 1400 is either going to make you triumphantly shout out: “Heh! I never needed all those bells and whistles anyway. All I want is a clean booty.” OR “Ehhhh, well….. I love night lights, hidden cables, user profiles and replaceable deodorizers.”

Brondell Swash 1000 versus Brondell Swash 1400

The Brondell Swash 1000 on the left and the Brondell Swash 1400 on the right.

Maybe I should have used a spoiler tag up there, but in short, the main differences between the Swash 1000 and the Swash 1400 come down to aesthetic changes.

The Swash 1000 doesn’t have a hidden compartment to clean up the look of the water and power connections.
It also doesn’t have a night light (personally, something I gotta have, but I know many couldn’t care less).
There have also been some cosmetic changes to the Swash 1400 that aren’t seen on the Swash 1000, such as contouring the base of the unit to better blend in with the toilet, creating a more seamless look.

Honestly, though, I love the look of both.

Earlier, it may have sounded like I was bashing the Swash 1000, but that’s far from the case (wouldn’t be on this list, otherwise)

In reality, many of the things it lacks ARE just extras and don’t actually directly contribute to a bidets prime directive: clean asses.

The features of the Brondell Swash 1000 are completely focused on booty blasting, posterior polishing, rear refreshing cleanliness.

This makes it a wonderful buy for those looking for a nice starter bidet that accomplishes its main goal in a satisfying and effective manner.

The Best of Bio Bidet Bidets.

March 20, 2018 by @elioverbey

Bio Bidet has been hard at work.

Going from a minor blip on the bidet radar to a major player in just a few short years, Bio Bidet has rightfully garnered a die-hard following – much in part to their endless innovation.

What are Bio Bidet’s best bidets?

A8 Serenity

See up to the minute price here.

Bio Bidet’s newest bidet focuses on pleasing any posterior.

Adjust everything – Bio Bidet have really begun to differentiate themselves as the bidet maker for people who dig customization.

The A8 Serenity has all the features you’d expect of a high-end unit, such as adjustable nozzle positions, adjustable heating settings for the water, seat, and dryer as well as an eco-mode.

Some of its more premium features are a dual sided remote (which is actually pretty damn sexy, props to Bio Bidet), a stainless steel nozzle for added germ fighting capabilities and customization user profiles, so will never need to worry about that lil stream of water not being zeroed-in on Mt. Poopamanjaro.

What’s surprising about this bidet is the level of control the user has over features that haven’t previously been adjustable in other models.

The first is the dryer. Not only are you able to change the temperature of the air, but you’re also able to adjust the power of the fans.

Next up is the water aeration.

Never before have we seen a bidet that lets you toggle the aeration of the water.

While we generally prefer aeration to be on for a more comfortable spray, turning it off offers a bit more power for those ultra nasty turds that just don’t wanna leave your loving embrace.

You are also able to play around with a few other features such as adjusting the night light (which lights up the whole bowl and looks super cool) and the chimes on the remote (or even turn them off completely).

With all that said, the A8 Serenity is Bio Bidet’s best bidet seat for those who are looking for a totally tailored cleaning ass-perience.

Next up is the Bio Bidet entry level, budget bidet.

The Bio Bidet Slim ONE

See up to the minute price here.

This bidet seat is the best cheap bidet seat out there.

Usually, we wouldn’t recommend anything below $250, as the components and features are, to put it plainly, shit.

However, Bio Bidet was able to create a bidet seat that has more than adequate features as well as high durability.

The Bio Bidet Slim ONE has:

a stainless steel nozzle

front and rear cleansing

pulsating cleanse mode

nozzle oscillation as well as adjustable nozzle position

child mode

turbo mode (for those who really want to live)

a heated seat with adjustable temperature

adjustable water temperature

a nozzle cleaning mode

a night light

and finally, an energy saving eco mode.

Yeah, that’s right. That is the features list for a bidet that costs less than a family dinner at Ruth’s Chris.

For this price point, there is nothing else I could possibly expect from an electric bidet seat. The Bio Bidet Slim ONE ticks all the boxes.

The Best TOTO Bidets

March 11, 2018 by @elioverbey

With 2019 way back in the rear-view mirror, it’s time to start looking into which bidets are the best of 2020.

Toto has established itself as one of the premier if not the premier bidet manufacturer.

With a lengthy history, going back 100 years, Toto has a legacy of making wonderful bathroom fixtures.

2020 hasn’t been the most exciting year for the guys and gals of Toto’s bidet division. With continued support of older bidet models, nothing has happened as far as new washlets or washlet technology popping up on the scene.

However, this isn’t a bad thing. Toto’s lineup of bidets is already stellar, with a bidet to fit any budget and bum.

Here are the best bidets you can buy from Toto in 2018.

In Q1, the Toto C100 still ranks as the best budget bidet you can buy.

Check out the current price of this bad boy here.

It all comes down to the exhaustive features list that truly boggles the mind when you compare it to the price tag.

Of course, it has all the standard features found on any budget bidet worth its salt, such as heated seats, heated water, an eco mode, adjustable nozzle positions and pressure and a self cleaning wand.

That’s where a sane person would assume the features stop.

But they don’t stop.

Toto somehow packs a warm air dryer and a deodorizer into this beast.

It’s as if TOTO wants to gaslight everyone who is interested in buying the C100, the price to performance ratio is just so good, it’s absolutely insane.

You can find models in both the round and elongated sizes, too, so any bowl can become a powerhouse of anal cleaning.

Check out our full review of the Toto C100 here

And for those who are SUPER curious, also see how it compares to the TOTO C200 here

On the other end of the spectrum is Toto’s S550e with eWater+.

Head on over to Amazon to see the current price of the S550e here

This bathroom behemoth comes packed to the brim with features.

In addition to everything the C100 has, the S550e features the use of eWater+ which is electrolyzed water that acts as a surprisingly able disinfectant.

See our review of the S550e here

The S550e will squirt that eWater+ all over the bowl before and after each dump session, providing you a much cleaner bowl -without you having to break out the disgusting, poo-water soaked toilet bowl cleaner- when compared to washlets that lack this feature.

The washlet also features a very suave looking remote, a night light and an auto open and close lid.

Besides the eWater+, the other major difference is the instantaneous water heating that provides endless, on demand hot water with no exceptions. This allows the bidet to be much thinner than its budget bidet brethren.

This is in contrast to the C100’s tank reservoir system, which will still provides a good deal of warm water, but only until the tank is dry. Consider the S550e if you expect multiple people to be using the toilet in succession.

Some may be wondering what difference is between the S550e and the S350e and if it justifies the leap in price.

The S550e features pulsating and oscillating cleansing modes, whereas the S350e lacks these.

IMHO, oscillation is a MUST. The rapid sweeping of water back and forth removes filth so much better than just a constant spray in the same spot. Think about how you clean anything with a hose – your car, deck, dog, kids, etc. You sweep that mother back and forth.

The pulsating spray is also extremely nice to have (especially for us poor folks with a lack of fiber in our diets) as it can help with constipation better than a traditional spray. This feature isn’t as necessary as oscillation, but it’s a wonderful addition to have.

Oh, it also features a much more attractive lid.

All of these features are worth the price difference.

Overall, the S550e is the best washlet that TOTO currently offers, and also one of the best bidet seats available for purchase from any brand.

BioBidet BB1000 vs. BB2000. A closer look.

February 6, 2018 by @elioverbey

Ahhhh, BioBidet.

One of the top contenders in the fight to be recognized as the major player in the battle of the bidets.

Along with the likes of TOTO, Brondell, Novita and others, BioBidet is one of the most prominent manufacturers of bidets – both electric and mechanical – and consistently makes innovative, quality bidets.

Two bidets from BioBidet have left lots of people wondering which one provides the best value: the BB1000 and BB2000.

See the current price for the BB1000 and BB2000.

Bottom Line Up Front

To save you a smidge of time, I’ll give you the verdict right off the bat:

The BB2000 is a clear winner in every category. The looks, features and value provided are leagues ahead of the BB1000.

While some of the BB2000’s features aren’t revolutionary, the whole suite is simply a much better package than what you’d get with the BB1000.

Unless you’re truly strapped for cash and have a surprising fondness for the appearance of the BB1000, the BB2000 is definitely the way to go.

Read on to see for yourself how we’ve come to this conclusion.

Major Differences

To make the arduous task of selecting the proper poop-chute shiner a bit more bearable, we’ll start off with the major differences between these titans of tush cleaning.

The Look

The BB1000’s remote (top) looks like an outdated relic compared with the BB2000’s refined lines (bottom).

In my opinion, BioBidet have really missed the mark with the BB1000.

It has been compared to a “medical device fit for a retirement home” and honestly, I agree.

It’s big, bulky, sterile-looking (in a repulsive, hospital kinda way) and so far from sexy that giving it an Ed Hardy sleeveless T-shirt and slathering it in hair gel couldn’t make it look worse.

Even the remote for the BB2000 (you can choose either black or white) looks sleeker and more modern.

The BB2000 however, while not a feast for the eyes, is much more pleasant to behold.

With some nice curves and a slimmer profile due to its lack of a water heating reservoir, the BB2000 is a bidet seat fit for most toilets.

Instantaneous Heating

Besides the look (and majorly contributing it) of the two bidets, the second major difference between them is the BB2000’s instantaneous heating system versus the BB1000’s reservoir heating system.

When it comes to actually using these two systems, you probably won’t notice much of a difference.

The BB1000 has ample water to clean your rear – unless you expect multiple people to be using the seat in quick succession. In that case, the latter users may get the shaft as whoever got in there first has most likely used a good deal of the warm water already.

The BB2000 doesn’t encounter this problem as its water is heated instantly and continuously. Feel euphoric as infinite amounts of warm water caress your ass.

Stainless Steel Nozzle

The BB2000’s stainless steel nozzle is easier to clean and more hygienic.

The BB2000 has a stainless steel nozzle and the BB1000 does not.

In my opinion, a stainless steel nozzle is a feature that any bidet I’m going to buy should have.

Stainless steel is more durable, looks better, is easier to clean and is a more hostile environment for bacteria, viruses and fungi.

Hydro Flush

Cleaning from the inside out, BioBidet claims the BB2000 offers superior hygiene, although the jury is still out on if that’s entirely true.

The BB2000 has this feature, the BB1000 does not. What it is refers to the way the nozzle of the BB2000 is cleaned by blasting water through the nozzle from the inside-out to more thoroughly sterilize it.

This is opposed to the way most other bidets simply run water over the outside of the nozzle to remove any nasty lil-bits that may have found their way onto the nozz.

Now, whether this is actually going to increase the cleanliness of your dump sessions is still up for debate as other bidets without this feature have been sufficiently cleaning asses for many many years without issue.

The bottom line on this feature is: if it makes you feel more comfortable knowing the inside of the nozzle can be cleaned at will, BioBidet’s Hydro Flush feature may be worth it for you.

Belted Nozzle Cleaning

The motorized nozzles on the BB2000 are able to move more precisely and more quickly than other bidet nozzles.

Basically, this means they can quickly shimmy in and out as the outside is being cleaned with water to more throughly remove anything on the outside of the nozzle.

The motor operated nozzle is also able to be more precisely adjusted than other nozzles, although how much this is going to affect your morning session is up for you to decide.

Most bidets have several positions for the wand/nozzle to allow for a customized fit for each user. BioBidet’s motorized nozzle technology on the BB2000 allows for much smaller and more precise adjustments.

If you are unable to shimmy your rear a little bit to accommodate one of the BB1000’s preset nozzle positions, the infinitely adjustable BB2000 may be the bidet seat for you.

Night Light

Cool enough to impress any guest.

This is one of the coolest features of the BB2000. Its cool, blue nightlight illuminates a small control panel on the side of the bidet for easy use even in the darkest, windowless bathrooms.

While it may not seem like a game-changer, a night light really makes your bathroom seem more modern as it is bathed in a calming blue light.

Not only is this useful for your late-night sessions, it’s probably the single most impressive feature for guests who haven’t experienced anything outside of a vanilla toilet.

At the end of the day, it should be obvious to most that the BB2000 is ultimately the better bidet.

As a bidet is a serious investment of money, you really shouldn’t settle for something unless you’re completely satisfied with the features provided.

If all you want is a bum-gun, there are plenty of other, cheaper bidets that fit the bill. Head on over to our reviews of the TOTO C100 and the Novita Slimline for our favorite budget bidets.

If you’re looking for a premium bidet, the BB2000 is a decent offering from BioBidet.

Also, take a peek at our favorite bidets from last year.

Christmas Gifting: Why a Bidet Makes Sense

October 14, 2017 by @elioverbey

Hearing Bing Crosby croon how he’s dreaming of a white Christmas, I am immediately sure the white he’s talking about isn’t toilet paper.

In fact, many music historians agree, it’s most likely the white porcelain throne and the missing bidet that he’s longing for with all his heart.

I know people get annoyed at society at large for dragging the Christmas decorations out earlier and earlier, radio stations starting 24/7 broadcasts of the halcyon songs of Yuletides past and malls and shopping centers opting to marginalize – or skip over completely – Thanksgiving in favor of its more lucrative holiday competitor.

There is, however, no point too early to start considering your budget when it comes to gift giving. Seriously, You Need a Budget.

How could a bidet possibly justify itself as a gift? What will your friends, family or colleagues think upon shredding the festive wrapping paper to find a posterior polisher inside?

This article aims to answer those questions as well as to give some bidet suggestions for those tough to buy for.

Here are the reasons a bidet makes a perfect, unforgettable gift.

Affordable!

Yes, bidets have become extremely afforda
The Luxe Bidet 320. Best bidet attachment out there and sure to warm the hearts and asses of any and all who receive one this holiday season.

ble. For those on a strict budget, you can snag a very inexpensive, effective and easy to install bidet attachment.
- Bidet attachments that I would recommend range from $25~$80
- For the lowest possible price, choose the Astor Bidet Attachment or the Chrider Bidet with self cleaning function.
- For looks, take a gander at the GenieBidet or the Tushy.
- And if you want the absolute best bidet attachment for your peeps, the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 is what you should be getting. It packs hot and cold water, a lovely lever control as well as feminine and rear cleansing options.

Check our ever growing list of bidet attachment reviews HERE! Includes all but the Chrider Bidet, which we’re currently working on.

For those with a bit more leeway when it comes to your gifting budget, an entry level electric bidet will completely blow your recipients’ minds.
- For the absolute most inexpensive yet badass electric bidet, pick up the SmartBidet SB-1000 which includes a remote.
- Looks-wise, the Novita Slimline is so sexy, you might get suspicious if someone takes a little extra time to use it….
- The best entry level bidet seat is the TOTO C100 It has everything you’d want in a bidet seat…..AND MORE. Really, check it out.

The recipient will actually use this thing!

Yes, we all know there’s nothing better than giving a gift that actually gets used and is appreciated. From food and alcohol (seriously, just get me some whisky or beef jerky and I’ll love you forever) to external hard-drives and TVs – useful gifts rule.

You will feel so absolutely giddy hearing your giftees talk about how freaking astonishing using their new gift has been. While you might not like all the details and information about their usage that they give you, just grin and bear it, as you can rest easy knowing you’ve changed a life or two.

Bidets are not only useful, they’re an investment. The savings in toilet paper is fantastic as are the savings in time and aggravation. Gone are experiences like this:

Also, as an added bonus, offer your hand at installation (give them time to make sure their toilet is clean first, don’t want to embarrass anyone), especially if the person you’re giving it to is a chronic procrastinator or isn’t confident in their plumbing ability.

It’s unique!

This probably should have been first on the list, but jeez-louise, who would ever predict a bidet to be inside the lovely, wrapped box?

The look on the face of your loved-one might be worth the price of admission alone!

Sure, they may seem shocked at first, but rest assured, as you go on to explain the benefits of a bidet and once they start imagining themselves using it – it’s game over, they’re going to be infatuated already.

People love upgrades, especially to their home. The bidet is a perfect way for someone you hold dear to do that.

A bidet is more than an ass-sprayer, it’s a way to say “I love you”. <3