2017 has faded into yesteryear and we are finally warming up into the spring of 2018, but many of last year’s best bidets are still just that… The best bidets.
Take a look at what reigned supreme last year in these two categories:
Best Bidets 2018
These bidets are the premium, no holds barred whizzes that will vie with your children and pets for attention. These beasts not only tickle the fancies of premium gadget-lovers, but also those who have an affinity for strong construction and high quality materials.
Brondell Swash 1400
First things first, who is this bidet for?
This bidet suits couples and families who are willing to spend a fair amount for a durable, attractive bidet that should last many many years.
It covers all the bases when it comes to multi-user usage – a rear and (improved from the Swash 1000) feminine wand as well as an auto wash and dry mode that is great for kids.
This bidet is also perfect for those who simply want the best, no matter the expense. Brondell is a very well regarded company and this is their flagship bidet seat that compromises on very little.
Brondell has been in the Game of Bidets since 2003 and has consistently been one of the top manufacturers of washlets in the United States. With their new Swash 1400 bidet seat, Brondell have proven why they are held in such high regard among us bidetophiles (there are dozens of us!).
Biscuit on the left, white on the right.
Designed with North American toilets in mind, the Swash 1400 should fit nearly any elongated or round toilet in the USA in terms of size, shape and color (it comes in both white and an off-white cutely labeled as ‘biscuit’).
Its smooth, contoured lines help the 1400 beautifully pair with any toilet and any bathroom.
In addition, the power cord and hose can be hidden away in a compartment in the rear of the seat, which will keep your bathroom from looking like the elastic jungle in Nickelodeon’s GUTS.
Along with its extremely sexy looks, the Swash 1400 packs an incredible features list that has nearly everything a bidet seat could possibly have.
It sports:
Two stainless steel wands (for both posterior and feminine cleansing) that resist corrosion, bacteria and virus contamination.
Adjustable spray width that allows a concentrated stream for those extra clingy peanut butter episodes to a much wider spray for gentle cleaning of a larger area and also a setting between the two for that Goldilocks in the family. This is a very impressive feature and a remarkable piece of engineering.
An easily replaceable and surprisingly effective deodorizer whisk the smells of last night’s digested lasagna through an activated carbon filter, providing astoundingly breathable air. This is a major upgrade from the older Swash 1000 model which didn’t allow for user replacement of the filter.
A warm air dryer for a completely hands-off, butt-cleaning experience.
A blue night light to help you find the pot in the middle of the night.
Programmable settings for up to two users to eliminate having to adjust the settings to your liking after Uncle John messed them all up when he had his morning BM. There is also an “auto” mode which will run through a full cleaning and drying cycle so anyone can easily experience the splendor of a completely clean tooter.
Remote control and magnetic docking station keeps your remote control easily accessible.
Ceramic core heating system allows for instant and unlimited warm/hot water. This system is remarkably effective and outclasses most other on-demand heating systems available from other brands.
The only gripe I have with this bidet seat is the lack of a pulsating spray feature (great for relief of constipation).
All in all, this bidet sets the bar at a lofty height and ticks nearly all the boxes any great bidet should be striving to fill. It’s built with quality materials and sounds construction, the features are all useful and lastly, it looks absolutely fantastic on any toilet.
TOTO Washlet S350e
First things first, who is this bidet for?
This is the perfect bidet for those who want a more automated, smart-toilet experience. Features such as the auto open/close lid and the ewater+ bowl misting (essentially cleans your toilet bowl periodically throughout the day) truly project the feeling of living in the future.
The S350 is absolutely packed to the rim with technology fit to impress Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. It is truly the Tesla of Toilets.
Much like the Brondell, the S350 suits multiple user households, however it isn’t quite as child friendly as the Brondell with no auto wash/dry cycle button. If you have young children and want them initiated into the Bidet Club, then the S350 might make it a smidge more difficult.
Once again, this bidet is for those who want the absolute best in class when it comes to bidets. The TOTO S350 even outclasses the Brondell in the sheer volume of features. Read on and decide for yourself if they’re worth it.
It’s just so slim!
TOTO is probably the name most people think of when electronic bidet seats or washlets are mentioned. As a matter of fact, TOTO coined the term “washlet” in 1980 and has sold 30 million of them since.
Unlike the Brondell Swash 1400, the TOTO S350 hasn’t been designed with the North American bathroom in mind.
However, don’t let that deter you, as toilet sizes/shapes as well as connections are pretty universal and the S350 is available in both round and elongated versions (the “e” in the S350e stands for the elongated version).
This washlet is slim and somehow houses all of its tricks inside a shell only 3.9 inches high.
While (in my opinion) not as stylish as the Brondell, the TOTO does just as good of a job at keeping your bathroom looking neat and tidy, with both water and electric attachments coming from the right side of the washlet, allowing for easy cable management.
Now, on to the MASSIVE features list. Hold onto yer butts.
It sports:
One adjustable plastic wand which may seem like a huge step down from the Brondell’s two stainless steel nozzles (which I prefer), but TOTO’s inclusion of an advanced water electrolysis system makes up for it (more on that, later!).
The soft exterior night-light is visible on the left side of the unit.
ewater+ water electrolysis system creates electrolysed water which, according to Wikipedia is “a known cleanser and disinfectant / sanitizer.” This water is used to spray both your bowl and the plastic nozzle, cleaning much more effectively than standard tap water.
Automatic open/close lid will allow for a completely hands-free experience and is just pretty damn futuristic when you actually experience it. It’s as if the toilet has been waiting excitedly for you to mount and make your daily doody deposit. For those of us that pee whilst standing, a button on the top of the remote can also raise the seat.
Wider “Soft Rear Cleanse” option which widens the spray to provide a less direct, more soothing spray for sensitive heinies.
A night light built into the side of the toilet will illuminate the area to the left of the toilet as well as the bowl, like the Brondell. The soft light on the side is actually quite useful and gives the TOTO the edge over the Swash 1400 in this category.
Programmable settings for up to two users – just like the Brondell.
Remote control which features a very basic (in a good way) front panel with the most frequently used options – front and rear cleanse, dryer and the stop button. On the sides are buttons to control the pressure, wand position and to toggle the oscillating and pulsating features. The back of the remote has a somewhat old-school LCD panel for controlling temperature (water and dryer), adjusting the lighting options and creating user profiles.
The deodorizer will keep your bathroom smelling less crappy. While not quite as effective as the Brondell’s, you don’t need to replace it as often and can simply clean the filter occasionally.
On demand hot water much like the Brondell. Water is not stored and heated in a reservoir, but instantly heated as it passes from your water supply, through the unit to bathe your bum in perfectly warm water every time you use it.
Bowl premist uses the ewater+ to mist the bowl when you sit down to grease up the bowl to prevent unsightly poo-stains. The unit also sprays after each use and intermittently throughout the day to keep it noticeably cleaner. This is about as close as you’re going to get to a mini Roomba (Poomba, anyone?) that cleans your toilet bowl.
A warm air dryer. Does what is says…eventually. Like most bidet seats, the dryer is essentially a slightly better bathroom hand dryer, so don’t expect a bone-dry ass in fewer than two or three minutes.
With every conceivable feature packed into one of the smallest electric bidets on the market, the only issue with the TOTO S350 is it’s price. If that doesn’t bother you and you’re in the market for an electric bidet seat, then you better hurry up and buy this thing because you will certainly get what you paid for.
Best Budget Bidets 2018
These are the Honda Civics of bidets. They balance price to performance by sacrificing some of the bells and whistles of their more expensive counterparts. For most users, you probably won’t need more than what these wonderful bidets have to offer.
Novita Slimline BN-330
First things first, who is this bidet for?
This bidet seat packs many of the features of more pricey models (including on-demand heated water!!!) for less than half the price. It’s also quite attractive for its price point as well as slim (who woulda guessed with a name like that).
The major missing feature here would be a deodorizer, so, if that doesn’t bug you and you simply want a bidet that cleans your ass and cleans it well, consider the Novita Slimline.
Novita is a a subsidiary of Kohler, whom you may have heard of. Novita is one of South Korea’s leading bidet manufacturers and has a long and established track record dating back to its founding in 1984.
With the Slimline BN-330, Novita has really taken their engineering to another level and have been able to inexpensively create an electric bidet seat which has a very small form factor and includes nearly all the key features of much more expensive bidets.
Lacking a remote (the bidet is controlled with an attached side panel, instead) and a deodorizer, this bidet has cut a few corners to bring you the best butt-blasting experience for a bargain price.
Read on to see what features you get with the Novita Slimline.
It sports:
Two stainless steel wands is an impressive package for a bargain bidet to come packing. Seperate nozzles for rear and frontal cleansing make sure that each area gets that nice does of TLC that it deserves.
Instantaneous heating system provides warm water on demand and doesn’t ever run out, unlike a reservoir system which might come up short in multi-user households. I feel like it is worth noting that most other bidets in this price range feature a tank-reservoir system and Novita is really giving users a wonderful feature for such a low cost.
A warm air dryer is another nice feature that many budget-friendly bidets lack. Although, as always, don’t expect it to blow you away and prepare to wait a little while if you want a truly TP-less experience.
Strong, sit-able lid gives peace-of-mind to those who often find themselves seated on the lid applying those final touches of makeup, drying their hair or whatever else.
Oscillation and aeration make for a very pleasant cleaning experience. The oscillating nozzles can cover a larger area and more easily provide that spotless butt that we’ve all been seeking. The aerated water gives the stream a more gentle feeling with less splash and splatter.
Feast your eyes on those smooth lines.
For what it costs, the Novita Slimline provides such a huge value that it’s almost impossible for a beginner bidet-er to pass up. The instantaneous hot water and the Novita’s striking appearance are the two best features and are already close to covering the cost of admission. Don’t forget to check out our full review of the Novita Slimline!
TOTO Washlet C100
First things first, who is this bidet for?
Oh boy, this bidet is for almost anyone.
Really, this thing is just great and is a legend in the world of bidets.
Get this bidet if you want all the features of a much more expensive bidet minus instantaneous heating. If you live in a house where multiple people use the toilet in quick succession, then the tank-heating might be an issue, but if you have a small number of people in your home, then this bidet could fulfill all your wildest toilet fantasies.
Once again, TOTO brings another titan into the neverending battle of the bidets. With all its years of experience designing and manufacturing bidets, TOTO has been able to somehow slip so many features into this bad boy that it’ll blow your freaking mind.
Containing everything but instantaneous water heating, the TOTO C100 gives other bidets in higher price ranges a serious run for their money.
This is another remote-less bidet seat, opting instead for a connected side panel. This might turn a few people off, but in all honesty, I really like the look of it on this TOTO.
It really makes you feel like you’re in a futuristic Tokyo restroom taking the best dump of your life.
Here are all the features this jack-of-all-trades bidet dude brings to the table.
It sports:
One plastic wand nozzle which can clean both front and rear areas effectively due to its multiple nozzles.
Tank-reservoir heating system utilizes a large tank to hold and heat water – even when you aren’t using the toilet – so that you will, in most cases, have a decent supply of warm water ready to go.
In special circumstances (house-wide food poisoning, anyone?) where there is a mad run on the bathroom, the tank might deplete it’s warm water supply under heavy use.
In this case, you might have to deal with some lukewarm or even chilly water. Barring acts of God like that, however, the C100 should have sufficient hot water.
A warm air dryer is packed into the rear of the seat and does just as well as more expensive bidets at completely drying you off sometime before your 100th birthday.
A deodorizer has also found a home in the C100. Somehow, the brains at TOTO found a way to squash both a dryer and deodorizer into this absurdly cheap bidet.
Premist bowl-spraying just like its more expensive siblings. The premist does a surprisingly good job of keeping the toilet clean and I think it’s a very worthwhile feature.
Oscillating cleanse. Like nearly all bidet seats, the TOTO C100 has an oscillating cleaning function to sweep the area with water to fully blast any and all nooks and crannies where turds may be trying to hide.
With high-end features like a dryer, deodorizer and a pre-mist function, the TOTO C100 clearly punches well above its weight. Once again, the only thing holding it back is the lack of an on-demand water heating system, but that shouldn’t be an issue in most cases. Read our TOTO C100 Review and our TOTO C100 vs. the TOTO C200 Head to Head.
All in all, there are many many bidets out there, and they’re all competing for your hard earned cash. I hope this guide will help you narrow down your choices to the electric bidets that I believe outrank the rest in their respective categories. Hopefully now you have a bit more confidence in selecting a bidet so that you can ditch the TP and toilet seat and start pooping like a king.
As always, comments are very appreciated. Any bidet you’d like to see reviewed or do you think a different bidet should occupy one of these spots?
Let me know, I’d love to heard from you.
Cheers, and happy bidet-ing.
If you’re more interested in bidet attachments, come see our list of the best of the bunch.